Total Drama Cabin Fever
by FromanTheman
Summary: After the sinking of camp Wawanakwa and the murderous actions of Chris McLean, Total Drama has returned on a new location, the Hanwi campsite and with a new host, the return of Damian Dillion! 22 new contestants compete for the chance to win 1 million dollars in a summer cabin setting!
1. Ep1-The Only Prescription is More Cabin

It was a sunny day in what looked like a furnished campground. A young man with shaggy black hair, a chin beard, and piercings on his lip and right ear stood in front of a cabin. He wore a long sleeved grey shirt under a blue t-shirt with a ninja face design plastered on. "Hello, one and all!" The man said. "My name is Damian Dillion and I will be your host for another crazy, exciting season of Total Drama!" Damian continued to walk around the campground to reveal more cabins, a mess hall, a swingset, along with an open field and a dirt road. "Now, you may be asking. 'Damian. Why aren't we on Wawanakwa?' Well, we would be. But, if you recall last season, Total Drama All-Stars, Chris McLean sank the entire damn island. Like...how?" Damian inhaled and exhaled. The host then walked down to a small lake, surrounded by other cabins. "So we've moved to a new location!"

The view was then changed to a map of North America. An arrow traveled to south western Ontario. "This new location is the Hanwi campground on the border of the Canadian province of Ontario and the American state of Minnesota." Damian walked back up the giant clearing. "But enough about me. It's time to introduce our brand new cast. We have twenty two new contestants arriving. Suddenly a large bus drove up to the campground, the door opened to reveal Chef Hatchet as the bus driver.

The first camper began to walk off of the bus. She was a tiny ginger girl. She wore a green turtleneck, blue pants, and pale blue shoes. Before she got off the bus, she tripped and landed on the ground.

Damian bent down to check on the girl. "Uh...Kari? Are you alright?" The host asked.

The ginger quickly stood up. "U-um, I'm okay! I'm okay! I'm sorry! I just have the worst luck…" Kari mumbled quietly.

"Alright." Damian continued. "Just stand over there." Damian pointed to the left.

Kari nodded and walked away, almost tripping again.

Next was a mid-height black boy. He had short brown hair and a chin beard. His attire consisted of a long-sleeved, mud brown shirt, dark blue pants, wolf slippers, paw gloves, a fake tail and an imitation wolfskin cap. "Grrrraww!" The boy growled.

"Hello, Marcus." Damian said calmly.

"Hush, human!" The boy barked. "My name is not Marcus. It is Moonclaw. I'm a vicious wolf. Ready to strike in the shadows. Aoaoooo!" Moonclaw howled.

"Yes, yes. Go stand over by the ginger girl over there." Damian pointed at Kari.

Moonclaw bounded over to the small girl and began sniffing.

"Wh-what's wrong?" Kari shrieked. "I showered this morning!"

"You seem nice!" Moonclaw said gruffly. "But you seem quiet."

"Y-you got that from..smelling me?" Kari asked, confused.

Moonclaw nodded. "Being a wolf, I have heightened senses. RAAAWWR!"

Kari screamed in terror.

A short, freckled, white girl walked onto the campground. She had sandy brown hair in a bob cut and wore a blue short sleeved shirt, dusty jeans, sandals, and a straw hat. "Howdy, Damian." The girl said in a thick southern American accent.

"Hey, Diana." Damian smiled. "How are you feeling?"

"Ah'm feelin' mighty good, if'n I do say so myself. Thanks fer askin'." Diana smiled back as she walked over to Moonclaw. "Whassup?" She asked.

"Ah, hello country bumpkin." Moonclaw chuckled. "I hope you don't plan on hunting. Oh wait. It isn't wolf season. Wait again. It never is! Us wolves are too deadly and conniving for that kind of thing!"

"Well, uh, I don't hunt." Diana shrugged. "I'd much rather just relax in a field than shoot stuff. But, uh….what's all'a this business?" The country girl pointed at Moonclaw's attire.

"Oh, this? Well….I'm a wolf." Moonclaw chuckled nervously. "So of course I have claws, paws, a tail….Rawwwr!"

Diana raised an eyebrow. "Whatever. Just don't eat me." Diana giggled a bit.

"No promises." Moonclaw said with a small laugh.

Damian began to speak once more. "Next we have-"

"Duuuuuude…" A tall, chubby white boy said as he walked off of the bus. He had shaggy brown hair and a soul patch of matching color. He wore a greyish teal blazer with rolled up sleeves, a white t-shirt that read "Keg Me", blue jeans, grey sneakers, a pink wristband on his left wrist, and a red snapback which was worn backwards.

"Yes." Damian continued. "Welcome to Total Drama-"

"Woah, dude!" The boy said as he ran over to Moonclaw. He began to pet the boy's hat. "Duuuude…"

"Hey! Don't touch my pelt, man!" Mooclaw snapped.

"Naw. Dude." The boy replied.

"H-hi…" Kari said meekly, walking up to the large boy. "Wh-what's your name?"

"Dude." The boy said.

"That's it?" Diana asked, confused. "Just Dude?"

"I think we made him mad…" Kari mumbled.

"Ch'ya. Dude." The boy known as 'Dude' said, pointing to himself.

The other three contestant looked at each other, confused.

A mid-height white girl jumped out of the bus. The girl had shortish, spiked black hair which was dyed blue in the front and green in the back. She wore heavy makeup on her face, consisting of pink hearts on her cheeks and a large amount of eyeliner, along with a nose piercing and a number of earrings. Her attire consisted of a spiked collar around her neck, a dark grey leather jacket, a torn black shirt, grey fingerless gloves, purple pants, and black combat boots. "Let's fucking rock!" The girl shouted loudly.

"Everyone." Damian announced. "This is Jynxie."

"You're damn right, it is!" Jynxie yelled. "Who's ready to fucking party!?"

"Duuuuude!" Dude shouted.

Jynxie bounded over to the frat boy. "This guy knows what's up! What about the rest of you?!"

Kari shook in fear. "Are you going to hurt me?" She asked.

"Hell no, girl!" Jynxie replied. "We're just here to have fun! Party nation!" Jynxie ran towards a tree and gave it a swift kick, which shook a pinecone off of a higher branch. Said pinecone fell towards the ground and hit Kari in the head.

"Ouch." Kari whimpered.

"Aw shit, I'm sorry." Jynxie apologized.

"It's not your fault. I have awful luck…" Kari frowned.

"Oh...Well what about you two?!" Jynxie shouted at Moonclaw and Diana. "You ready to rock?!"

"YEAH! RAWWRRAOOOO!" Mooclaw howled.

"Yeah, sure. Ah'm up fer that." Diana replied calmly.

Next to arrive was semi-tanned, mid-height boy. He had curly brown hair and donned a black fedora, a dark green tanktop, jean shorts, light brown sandals and a golden cross necklace. He wore a smile both confident and excited.

"Richy!" Damian said happily. "Welcome to Total Drama. We received your thank you email when you were alerted of your acceptance."

"This. Is. Awesome!" Richy said with joy. "I can't believe I'm actually on Total Drama! This is been a dream of mine!" Richy then spoke more quietly, and to himself. "Now, to make some social connections."

The boy walked up to the small crowd and smiled. "Hello. The name is Richard Diaz. Reality television buff extraordinar. But please, call me Richy."

"Howdy, Richy." Diana smiled and tipped her hat.

"What. Is. Up. Richy?!" Jynxie shouted, shaking Richy by his shoulders.

"Whoa." Richy chuckled. "You're crazy. I like it."

"Damn right, you do!" Jynxie punched the boy in the arm.

Richy then walked up to Dude. "Hello." He smiled. "And you are?"

"Dude." Dude grinned.

"I...see…" Richy raised an eyebrow, before walking over to Kari. "Hey there." He greeted.

"H-hi…" She mumbled.

"Everything okay?" Richy asked.

"Mhm...Just...lots of loud people…" Kari replied.

"Yeah, I get that… Well, that adds to the fun, doesn't it?"

"I don't know…" Kari said awkwardly.

"Uh...huh…" Richy then walked over to Diana. "Hey so listen. You're the only one here so far that seems to be level headed. I didn't even talk to the wolf kid and I know he's mad."

Meanwhile, Moonclaw was roaring at Jynxie, who screamed back.

"Yeah? And?" Diana asked.

"I think we should form an alliance." Richy suggested.

"Eh, I don't think ah'm ready fer that, yet." Diana shrugged. "Maybe later. But I don't wanna be workin' like crazy right now."

"Ah...I see...no matter...huh… Cool to be on Total Drama, though, right?" Richy smiled.

"Damn right. 'S great!" Diana nodded.

A short Asian girl walked off the bus next. She had short black hair and wore square glasses, a tucked in sea-green dress shirt, a blue bowtie, blue jeans with a brown belt and grey dress shoes. She looked at the six other campers with discontent.

"Ew. Looks at all these...white people…" The girl cringed. "Maybe some of them are trans."

"Hey, Xena! Welcome to-" Damian said before being interrupted.

"Shut it, cishet oppressor." Xena quickly said, before walking up to Moonclaw, who was watching a bug. "Are you a wolfkin?" She asked, now with a smile.

"Uh...what's that?" Moonclaw asked.

"You know. A wolfsouled human being." Xena replied.

"Oh, yeah! I'm one of those!" Moonclaw nodded.

"There we go! A black wolfkin! Something different. Better than all of these cis white people! Yuuuuck! Have fun in the patriarchy!" Xena ranted.

"Uh, in regards to your 'patriarchy' comment, my dad actually took my mom's name. And I'm also half Puerto Rican, so…" Richy said before being hushed by Xena.

"Are you cisgendered?" Xena asked.

"Uh...yeah." Richy said.

"Are you straight?" Xena asked once again.

"I was bicurious in middle school. But yeah, I'm straight." Richy shrugged.

"Then you still have privilege and you need to check it, okay? Okay." Xena patted Richy's face, before slapping him.

"Then what's your...situation?" Richy crossed his arms.

"Well." Xena began. "ATTENTION!" She then shouted, and the other six turned to her. "Just to avoid any misgendering! I am an Asian, pansexual, genderfluid non-binary. My pronouns either are her/she/her or they/them/their. Most often than not I go by her/she/her, though. Hopefully that should clear everything up. Just so there isn't any bigoted confusion…" Xena narrowed her eyes at Richy and Dude specifically.

"Well, it's mighty good ta meet ya, though." Diana smiled. "What's yer name?"

"I'm Xena...Ew, you're from the south." Xena cringed.

"Uh, what does that mean?" Diana looked confused.

"I hope you don't plan on lynching me for not adhering to your cishet white Christian standards." Xena spat.

"Uh…" Diana stammered.

"Whatever, bigot." Xena groaned.

Diana looked at Moonclaw, who shrugged, then at Richy who shook his head.

The next camper to arrive, jumped out of the bus. The camper was a tall, very pale boy. He had spiky black hair, oddly red eyes and what looked like fake fangs in his mouth. He wore a black suit with a white dress shirt underneath, and a black ensemble of dress pants, dress shoes, and a vampiric cape.

"Hello, mortals!" The boy said brashly, a twisted grin on his face.

"Hello, Salem." Damian greeted. Salem hissed at the host in response.

"Now, I must converse, host!" Salem said before cackling, but doing so caused his fangs to fall off. "Oh jeez!" The boy quickly picked the teeth up, wiped them off and put them back into his mouth.

"Yoooo!" Jynxie yelled. "You're fucking rad! What's all this vampire shit?!"

"Fool! I'm actually a vampire!" Salem shouted.

"Dude!" Dude said excitedly to Xena.

"What? It's just another white male begging for attention. We get it. You wanna stay in charge." Xena griped.

"Wait! Hold up!" Jynxie began. "If you're a vampire, why aren't you burning like crazy? It's sunny as fuck!"

"You obviously don't know about vampires!" Salem cackled. "My powers are simply weakened in the sun. You do not want to encounter me in the night. That's when I feed!"

"I'll watch out for that! Hahahaha!" Jynxie laughed loudly.

Salem chuckled nervously.

Another camper walked onto the campground. It was a shortish, slightly tanned, white girl white green hair and eyebrows. She wore a purple flower crown on her head, a flowing pink shirt, brown vest, shabby beige pants,dark blue bracelets, and no shoes.

"Flora! Welcome to Total Drama Cabin Fever." Damian smiled.

"Cooool, man. Cooool…" Flora said spacily.

"Finally. Someone who looks alternative. Eh, you're white. But I can think we can manage." Xena smiled.

"What, man?" Flora asked.

"Are you a hippie?" Xena wondered.

"Oh yeah, dude. I'm all about love and peace for the good of the earth. All of mother nature's children should get together and end all this hate." Flora said with a spacey smile.

"Duuuude." Dude nodded.

"Woooaahhh…" Flora droned, walking over to Dude. "You totally get me. You're so...spiritual. I can sense it in your chi."

"Woooahh…" Dude smiled.

"Uh. Excuse me." Xena grew impatient.

"Woah, bro." Flora said to Moonclaw. "You look, like, so in tune with nature…"

"What do you mean? I'm a wolf. RAAWWR!" Moonclaw growled. Causing Kari, who was right next to him to scream again.

Flora patted Kari on the shoulder. "Yo, little sapling. Don't be scared of nature. It's how the world turns and all that."

"U-uh...um...nature has it out for me…" Kari squeaked.

"Naw, man. That's just the man trying to get you down." Flora said. "But this guy." Flora put her hands on Moonclaw. "This guy gets it. He's against the system and is one with the earth and how it's chi flows…"

"Uh...what?" Moonclaw looked confused.

The next contestant was a bit interesting. The contestant was fairly tall, extremely bulky and appeared to be made of metal. Shining red with a blue core in the center of its chest cavity, along with grey hands and feet. The mechanism appeared to have a black screen for a face in front of a shining red head. On the green were two green dots, simulating eyes. Following the odd being was two scientists, one a mid-height white girl with red hair and glasses. The other a tall, older looking black man with grey hair and small glasses.

"Hello, Dr. Aspen. Dr. Hemlock." Damian greeted, shaking both scientists' hands. "So, I assume this is Stratbot?"

"A fucking robot?!" Jynxie said, excitedly. "Hell fucking yeah!"

"Greeting. I am Stratbot." The robot said in a calm voice. "I will make sure to use everything I have downloaded to win this competition."

"Indeed." The female scientist said. "Stratbot is ready for testing. Right now, we have even beaten the Japanese in terms of our further advances in human-like robotics."

"Then why doesn't it look human?" Damian asked.

"Because human-looking robots are fucking terrifying." The male scientist cringed. "But. The challenge strength of DJ. The strategic knowhow of Alejandro. The mental strength of Noah. And the social skills, minus the lowbrow garbage of Owen. We believe Stratbot will be the ultimate test of human qualities in modern robotics."

"Uh, excuse me." Xena raised her hand.

"Yeah?" The female scientist said, raising an eyebrow.

"What are Stratbot's gender pronouns? I don't want to misgender them."

"Well, we just say Stratbot is a guy. His frame is more masculine, the voice chip is of a more masculine model, and it's just easier." The male scientist shrugged.

"Ugh. There goes my hopes of an agender contestant." Xena grumbled.

"Alright." The female scientist finished. "I think our work is done here. Good luck Stratbot." She patted the robot's shoulder and returned to the bus with the male scientist.

Stratbot walked over to the crowd. "Hello, everyone. I am Stratbot."

"Yoyoyoyoyo! Hold up!" Jynxie shouted. You're a fucking robot?!"

"Yes, I am. I was created-" Stratbot stated before being interrupted.

"That's so fucking awesome!" Jynxie screamed. "Can you shoot lasers?!"

"No. But I can do this!" Stratbot unscrewed his head and proceeded to use it akin to a hacky sack. He then kicked it back onto his body. "Cool, huh?"

"Awesome!" Jynxie said, hugging the android.

"DUUUUDE!" Dude shouted.

"Broooooo!" Stratbot said in response. "What is your name, by the way?" Stratbot said to Jynxie, who was still embracing him.

"Oh! I'm Jynxie!" The punk girl said with a smile.

"I have an idea!" Stratbot said excitedly.

"Ooh! Ooh! What?!" Jynxie shouted.

The robot's tone grew a bit more quiet. "We should align. But keep it secret. It's a seeeecreeet."

"Can do! Awesome!" Jynxie let go of Stratbot, who was then pulled away by Richy.

"So, I assume you've got a lot of strategic info in that robo-brain of yours?" Richy asked.

"Yes, I do." Stratbot said in a cheery tone. "It's almost like I was made to win this game."

"Well...how about we align?" Richy grinned. "We could totally dominate this game. I know how this show works left and right."

"Sounds good. We will, as you said, dominate. Or rather, mow down the competition." Stratbot then emitted a lawnmower sound effect, causing Richy to jump. The automaton chuckled. Richy playfully punched the robot on the shoulder.

"I like you already." Richy chuckled.

A mid-height, voluptuous white girl walked onto the campground. She had bright, multicolored hair, oddly pink eyes, and variety of different piercings. She wore a small light blue sweater with a lighter blue dress shirt underneath, blue yoga pants, brown shoes, and a bright pink bow. She smirked confidently.

"No fear! No fear! Your winner is here." The girl said with a smile.

"Well, we'll see, Suzy." Damian chuckled. "But glad to have you here."

"Of course you are. I'm gonna win the heart of everyone here and everyone at home." Suzy boasted.

"Woah, man. Your hair is psychedelic." Flora said, feeling Suzy's hair.

"Thank you." Suzy smiled. "I know it's perfect."

"You seem really alternative. I love it!" Xena said happily.

"Uh. What does that mean?" Suzy asked.

"What pronouns do you go by?" Xena asked.

"Uh..I'm a girl. Can't you tell by these babies?" Suzy grabbed her large breasts.

Xena blushed. "Oh my. Well. You shouldn't be selling your body. That's giving into the patriarchy!"

"Yeah yeah. I don't sell my body. Really. The only one worthy is my boyfriend Duncan." Suzy shrugged.

"You don't mean that misogynist punk, do you?" Xena growled.

"You mean the super hot punk." Suzy giggled.

"Honestly." Richy butted in. "Duncan's overrated. Yeah, he's cool. But I'm kinda sick of him. He's M.O.R.N. in every season and a screenhog. It's old news. Although his M.O.R.P. edit in All-Stars was refreshing."

"What in the hell are you talking about?" Xena spat.

"My super hot boyfriend, obviously." Suzy rolled her eyes.

The bus doors forcefully swung open as the next camper arrived. It was a fairly tall white boy with spiked white hair and a small black mustache. His outfit was not unlike one of an old movie villain. A grey/black ensemble of a grey dress shirt, dark grey pants, black dress shoes, a dramatic black cape, and a black top hat. The boy cackled loudly. "Fools! Your winner has arrived! Prepare to all bow to the power and might of evil!"

"Yes, yes, Lance." Damian said with a chuckle. "Please. Go talk to the others."

Lance stepped over to the other contestants and grinned. He then noticed Salem and ran over to the vampire boy. "Ah, a vampire. A true symbol of the dark and wicked!"

Salem flinched a bit before regaining his composure. "Oh! Um, yes! Hahaha! I am a vampire, good sir!" Salem cackled.

"We should work together." Lance grinned. "We could claim this game in the name of evil!"

"I think not. I work alone." Salem said, before hissing. He then laughed gleefully.

Lance scowled. "I see how it is, vampire. We shall be enemies, then. Mark my words. I shall crush you…"

"Whoa Stratbot! Check that dude out!" Jynxie said loudly.

"Uh...he is...interesting." Stratbot said awkwardly.

Lance rushed over to Jynxie. "What are you saying about me?! Are you making fun of me?! That would be a grave mistake, madam!" Lance hissed.

Jynxie responded by pulling the boy's top hat over his eyes and giggling. Lance growled angrily and took the hat off of his head. It was then he noticed Stratbot standing over him. "Are...are you a robot?" Lance asked, shakily.

"Yes. I am Stratbot. It's nice to meet you." Stratbot extended his hand. Lance carefully shook it. "So." Stratbot continued. "What is...um...all this?"

"Oh, you must not have heard, robot! But I am going to be this game's villain! Mwahahaha! I plan on mowing down every goody-goody fuck in this game to ensure another villain victory! And you're going to help me!"

"Wait, what?" Strabot said, confused.

"Well, the vampire won't assist me. And I need a minion! And what better minion for evil is there than a robot?!" Lance shouted.

"So...an alliance?" Stratbot asked.

"Of course!" Lance smiled wickedly. "We will rule this game together…"

"Sounds good to me!" Stratbot gave the white haired boy a thumbs up.

A girl was the next to step onto the grounds. She was fairly short, white, and had sandy brown hair in pigtails. She wore a maroon tracksuit, red yoga pants, light grey sneakers, maroon fingerless gloves, and a white and red headband.

"Welcome, Winona!" Damian greeted.

"Hey, Damian! So psyched to be here!" Winona grinned cheerily. "Will there be any sport challenges? My friend Ginny is adding me to my 'reality tv athlete list and charts'. It's gonna be great!"

"Hey, man. Sports are all just fussy competition. Let's just all be chill." Flora smiled.

"But. Isn't that the point of this game? A big competition. Besides sports are fun." Winona smiled.

"Dancing is, like, a sport, right?" Flora asked. "Because I see dancing as, um, a way to connect this world and the next." Flora began to sway her arms and body.

Winona backed up a bit, unsure. She ended up running into Richy. Richy stumbled back and accidentally knocked Kari over.

"Oh my gosh, are you okay?" Winona said to Kari.

"Yeah, I-I'm fine." Kari replied quietly. "This happens all the time."

"What? Do you have bad balance?" Winona asked.

"Try bad luck." Kari mumbled.

"Oh that's unfortunate. Well, your luck can't be as bad as some athletes out there. Like, um...Greg Oden. It looked like he'd be the new all-star of the NBA. But the guy had to endure four different knee surgeries because he kept screwing his knee up." Winona explained. "Over five years, do you know how many games he played?"

"H-how many?" Kari asked.

"Eighty-two." Winona said.

"Is that not a lot?" Kari looked confused.

"That's roughly a season's worth of games. So no. That's not a lot." Winona shrugged.

"Oh…" Kari said, looking away.

Richy tapped Winona on the shoulder.

"Oh hi!" Winona smiled. "Sorry for bumping into you."

"It's fine. It's fine. I'm Richy." The boy smiled.

"Winona." Winona replied, shaking Richy's hand.

"That sweatsuit looks awfully familiar. In fact, it looks like Tyler's." Richy deduced.

"It is Tyler's." Winona smiled.

"Really?" Richy looked impressed. "How did you get that?"

"There was a raffle of various non-professional athlete memorabilia in my town. I won Tyler's sweatsuit he wore on TDI! Tyler and Lightning are my favorites!" Winona cheered.

"I assume you like athletes? Is that, like, an attraction thing?" Richy asked.

"Well, boys with muscles _are_ hot. But not really. I just love sports and the people that play them. I even have charts about all sorts of different athletes!" Winona smiled.

Richy smirked.

A short white boy triumphantly jumped out of the bus. He had longish brown hair and wore a red t-shirt with a yellow 'L' on it, blue pants, grey shoes, along with a red mask over his eyes and a yellow cape. He put his hands on his hips and brimmed ear to ear.

"Hello, Luke." Damian smiled.

"Hey, Damian! I'm so excited to be here! I'm no doubt going to be the hero this game deserves!" Luke pointed to the sky with a smile.

Lance overheard Luke's speech and stormed over to him. "Oh, you're a hero, huh?" Lance growled.

Luke looked a bit shocked before replying. "Uh. Yes! Yes I am. And I assume with your...attire that you're a villain?" Luke asked.

" _A_ villain?! Listen up, boy. I will be this game's _main_ villain. And I will crush you like a bug! Evil will be victorious!" Lance hissed.

"We shall see!" Luke said hammily.

"Oh boy. The white boys are gonna kill each other. Finally." Xena rolled her eyes.

"Good. Let them." Suzy said, filing her nails. "I'm obviously the hero of this game. Not that little twerp."

"Will you leave me alone?" Xena barked to Suzy.

Another camper exited the bus. This time a short, chubby, Polynesian girl. She had long black hair and wore a black t-shirt with an apple design, a black wristband, dark blue sweatpants, and green shoes. She also appeared to be clutching a number of books.

"Pleasure to have you here-" Damian said, before being cut off by the girl.

"H-hi! Hi! Hello everyone! It's nice to meet you! I'm Chesney!" The girl said with a nervous chuckle.

"Nice to meet you, Chesney. I'm Winona." Winona smiled.

"Hi! It's great to meet you! Ehehehehe!" Chesney said frantically. Her eyes drifted away from Winona to focus on Salem, who was chatting with Diana. Chesney pushed the female athlete away and headed towards the vampire boy.

"And that's why garlic is considered the arsenic of the vampire world!" Salem said.

"Gosh, I never knew.." Diana said.

"H-hi-hel-Hiello!" Chesney said to Salem with a forced smile.

"Ah, hello." Salem smiled. "How are you, maiden?"

Chesney blushed like crazy. "So...are...are you a vampire?"

"Why yes I am! Hahahahahaha! I am a relentless demon of the night!" Salem cackled loudly.

"I can match that laugh with a howl!" Moonclaw said, running forward. "AAOOOOO!"

"Damn! Those are some lungs!" Salem said, impressed.

"I guess I'll just go." Diana chuckled.

Chesney looked at the two boys as if she were struck with awe.

"Is she okay?" Moonclaw asked Salem.

"I, um, do not know. Miss?" Salem waved a hand over Chesney's face.

The girl then came to. "Huh?! What?! WHO?! Oh...uh...I gotta go!" With that, Chesney ran off, leaving Moonclaw and Salem confused.

A tallish, rather suave looking white man was the next to step off of the bus. He wore a black coat over a purple collared vest, a deep red tie, purple pants, and stylish black shoes. He smiled confidently

"Greetings, peasants." The man chuckled. "True royalty has arrived."

"Ah, yes." Damian said. "Hello, Wulfric."

"That's your royal highness, prince Wulfric Ember Amadeus von Czar of Cyfrasia to you." Wulfric sneered. He turned his attention back to the crowd, noticed Chesney, and smirked. "Hello, there madam." The prince smiled, his voice a calm, accented baritone.

"H-h-h-hi. I'm…" Chesney extended her hand and dropped her books.

"Hm. It appears you like to read, eh?" Wulfric chuckled lightly, picking the girl's books up.

Chesney only nodded, extremely flustered.

Wulfric flipped through the books. "You sure like to read. That's good. Brains are always something nobles admire. Oho. And it appears you like the saucy stuff. 'Throbbing Lumberjack: A Lakehouse Fantasy'. Oh my, my dear...erm…" Wulfric opened the book to see Chesney's name scribbled inside the back cover. "Chesney Kalani." Wulfric closed the book and handed the stack back to the girl. She took them and clutched them tight as Wulfric walked away.

"Aw, my mellow's been harshed, bro." Flora said to Xena and Dude.

"Dude…" Dude nodded.

"Right? A rich white man. Using women like objects. Feh." Xena scowled.

"Not really that. Except the rich part, man." Flora replied. "He doesn't even need this money. We gotta win it for charities, dude."

"...Dude?" Dude pointed to himself, confused.

Luke ran up to Wulfric, beaming. "Woah! Are you a real prince?" He asked, full of wonder.

Wulfric chuckled once more. "Why yes, young man. I am. I am the noble heir to the throne of Cyfrasia. A small island near England."

"That's so cool!" Luke said happily. "If you ever have a princess that you need saved, just be sure to contact me. I'll be sure to save her! I'm a hero, of course."

"Well, thank you." Wulfric grinned.

A tallish, dark-skinned girl was the next to jump off the bus. She had bright pink hair and wore a traditional Japanese schoolgirl's uniform: a white shirt with blue trim, a maroon neckerchief, a blue skirt, light blue knee-high socks, and black shoes, along with a pair of round glasses.

"Kon'nichiwa, Hanwi!" The girl squealed happily. "I'm May!" The girl bounded over to the others.

"Hello." Xena smiled. "I'm Xena. It's feels so good to see someone like you here!"

"Like me?" May asked.

"You know. Someone who isn't a white man." Xena whispered.

"Oh, uh...Hey! Do you like anime?" May asked.

"I love anime!" Xena grinned.

"So do I! I love every genre! Especially shonen, believe it or not!" May smiled.

"I like the sports anime. Where all of the boys are gay." Xena giggled.

"Ooh, those are fun, too." May also giggled, blushing. "I'm May."

"Xena." Xena smiled.

"Why hello, hello, madam." Wulfric smirked, approaching May.

"Oh, hello." May smiled. "Did you wanna talk about anime with us?"

"I've only seen one Japanese cartoon in my life. That's Battle of the Colossus." Wulfric shrugged.

"Oh emm gee, I love Battle of the Colossus!" May clapped her hands.

"Wonderful to hear." Wulfric grinned. "I am prince Wulfric Ember Amadeus von Czar of Cyfrasia."

"I-I'm May…" May said giggling.

"I must say, madam. Your skin is gorgeous. From where do you hail?" Wulfric asked.

"Wow. Okay. That's fucking rude, you racist, privileged dick." Xena snapped at the prince. "You don't just ask someone their race."

"It wasn't discriminatory at all, miss." Wulfric scowled.

"It's alright, Xena." May said calmly. "I'm half black, half Indian, if you must know."

"A gorgeous combination, I must say." Wulfric said with a smooth smirk.

"You're disgusting." Xena growled to Wulfric.

"Urgh. You're a pain. I'm leaving." Wulfric groaned, then turned to May. "Adieu, madam. Perhaps we shall discuss Battle of the Colossus, sometime."

May sighed. "He reminds me of Prince Magician from Star Admiral."

"Time for our next camper!" Damian announced. "Please welcome Jack!"

A tall, built Native American boy walked out of the bus and onto the campsite. He had thick black hair tied into a ponytail and bright brown eyes. He wore a red collared shirt with rolled up sleeves, a black vest, black tie, black pants, a dark brown belt with a golden buckle and black shoes. He also had a golden earring on his left ear.

"Hey, what's up, Damian?" Jack smiled, shaking the host's hand.

"Hello, man." Flora greeted. "How has mother earth treated you?"

"Uh, good, I guess." Jack chuckled.

"Ooh, look at you!" Suzy said to Jack. "You look almost as perfect as me."

"What does that mean?" Jack asked, getting more and more confused.

"Look at all this. That majestic tan, that thick dark hair, you're tall." Suzy then knocked on Jack's stomach. "And, ooh, someone's got rock hard abs."

Jack grew a bit flustered. "W-well I do, but-"

"Unfortunately for you, even you wouldn't be able to handle my perfection. Only Duncan can." Suzy boasted.

"Duncan? From this show?" Jack asked.

"The very same." Suzy smiled.

Jack kept looking around and saw Stratbot. "Woah!" The boy excitedly ran over to the robot. "Are you a robot? Or just a guy in a suit?"

"I am in fact a robot. I am Stratbot. It is a pleasure to meet you." Stratbot greeted.

"Oh the pleasure is all mine." Jack shook the robot's hand. "I was on my school's robotics team during my Sophomore year."

"Oh fun! Wait. Why did you think I was a guy in a suit?" Stratbot asked.

"Have you seen some of these kids?" Jack asked, pointing to Moonclaw, Salem, May, Wulfric, Flora, Jynxie, Lance, and Luke. "All of them make it look like ComicCon on fucking Halloween." Jack then chuckled.

"I suppose you're right." Stratbot then chuckled.

"Woah, wait. Do you feel emotions?" Jack asked.

"Of course. I am the latest and greatest in human-like robotics." Stratbot pointed out.

"That's rad." Jack nodded, smirking.

The bus opened to reveal another contestant. It was a shortish, very pale girl. Her eyes were a very dark blue, almost as if they were purple. She had very long, large, and frazzled black hair and wore a large dark maroon shirt with long sleeves that had a purple flame-like design on the end. She also wore an even darker maroon skirt, purple leggings, and curled black shoes. The dark clad girl walked over to Damian, expressionless.

"Uh, welcome to Total Drama, Tara." Damian said, a bit wary.

Tara smiled eerily. "Hello, Damian." She said calmly. "Would you hold this for a second?" Tara pulled out a small vial on a string filled with blue powder.

"I know what your family does, so I don't know." Damian said, skeptical.

"It'll do no harm, trust me…" Tara grinned.

Damian grabbed the vial from the girl. Suddenly, it crumbled to dust in the host's hand, allowing the contents to spill and spread all of over. Soon, Damian's entire right hand was blue. He looked worried as he saw his hand, then scowled at the girl. Tara simply giggled and walked off.

"Hey, missy!" Luke said running up to Tara. "That is evil! You should do that!"

"Are you going to stop me?" Tara smirked.

"Yes I am!" Luke beamed.

Tara took out a small pile of a sparkling powder and blew it into Luke's face. "Have fun with that, hero."

Luke coughed up a storm. "Hey!" Once he was finished coughing, he laughed gleefully. "Oh, this is fun."

"Excuse me, miss." Lance tapped Tara's shoulder.

Tara looked up at the white haired villain. "Oh boy. Aren't you something."

"Uh...what does that mean?" Lance asked.

"Nothing. What do you want?" Tara wondered, raising an eyebrow.

"Are…" Lance looked around and then whispered. "Are you a witch?"

Tara giggled darkly. "One could say that. I am Wiccan."

"How would you like to join my league of evil, witch? I've already got the robot." Lance pointed to Stratbot, who Jynxie was using as a boombox.

"Sounds good." Tara grinned, tipping the boy's top hat.

Lance blushed and began chuckling nervously. He coughed loudly and regained his composure. "Uh, good! Good! Er...minion!"

Tara rolled her eyes and chuckled, before walking away.

The next to arrive was a large, lightly sun-tanned white man. He had short brown hair and a five o'clock shadow. He wore a sandy brown cowboy hat, a tan wifebeater, jeans, and brown work boots. All of his clothes looked dusty, as if he was working right before he showed up.

"Howdy, Garrett." Damian chuckled. "What brings you to Total Drama?"

"A millyan bucks. That's what brings me here." Garrett replied, his voice rough, with a southern American twang. "Th' only problem is all of the fuckin' freaks on this show." Garrett then took a look around. "Aw shit. And it looks like there are a lot of 'em."

Garrett dragged his feet onto the campground, where he was approached by Diana.

"Howdy, partner." Diana greeted. "I couldn't help but overhear ya. Somethin' troublin' ya?"

"What d'ya mean?" Garrett asked.

"Talkin' 'bout freaks and all that." Diana replied.

"Yeah. There are always weirdos on this fuckin' show! And look'it all'a these people." Garrett waved his hand around the campers.

"Aw, they ain't all bad." Diana said.

"Maybe ta you." Garrett crossed his arms.

"So, where ya from? Ya sound like ya got some south in ya." Diana smiled.

"Texas." Garrett grunted. "You?"

"I'm from Louisiana." Diana said. "It's always so relaxin'. Except durin' Mardi Gras."

"I hate Mardi Gras." Garrett groaned. "I don't need a bunch of French fruits in shiny outfits throwin' shit at me."

Jack then jumped into the conversation. "You've been to Mardi Gras, cowboy?" Jack chuckled. "I've never been. Is it fun?"

"Depends, Injin." Garrett replied. "Do ya like loud music and a bunch'a fuckin' weirdos screamin', pukin' and fuckin' in the street?"

"Doesn't sound awful." Jack shrugged.

"Ya know, you two seem normal. So I'm sure I'll tolerate ya. Not like all'a those goddamn freaks." Garrett rolled his eyes.

"I was actually just talking about that with the robot. There are so many weird people here." Jack laughed.

"Exactly. The fuckin' robot." Garrett grumbled.

Diana looked at the large man, a bit concerned.

Next up was a short, chubby white girl. She had very long, curly brown hair of varying shades and wore a dark greyish brown hoodie over a brown shirt, along with grey pants and matching grey shoes.

"Greeting, fellow competitors." The girl said. "I am Rapheala. I assume we will have a wondrous time in this competition. Let us not get our tensions too high, though, considering, at this point in time, we all have a 99.95% of losing this competition at the moment. However, those numbers will decrease eventually and worry will cease, yer balance, if you understand the conundrum of that scenario."

Dude looked confused and enlightened. "Dude…."

"Blah blah blah. Words words." Garrett groaned.

"This guy knows what's up." Suzy agreed, pointing to Garrett.

"Don't touch me." Garrett cringed.

"Ah, yes. A loud, in layman's terms 'redneck' and an extremely boastful young woman with obvious self-esteem issues." Rapheala deduced.

"What?" Suzy looked offended.

"What?!" Garrett quickly grew angry.

"I am sure, given your poor social skills, you two will no doubt be fairly early eliminations. No hard feelings, it is simply a fact by process of elimination. Ooh, I unintentionally made a pun. Although, given the male's stature, I am sure his team will want to keep him longer." Rapheala explained.

"What do you mean by that?" Garrett growled.

Rapheala sighed. "You're strong."

"...Oh…" Garrett realized.

"Hey! I'm still mad about what you said." Suzy snapped.

"Miss, it's all a matter of numbers and calculations. Nothing personal in the slightest. You can even thumb through my thesis on the matter determining eliminations in this televised program." Rapheala took a folded piece of paper out of her hoodie pocket, unfolded it and handed it to Suzy. The rainbow haired girl crumpled it up and tossed it to the ground.

"Ooh, she's smart!" May said, excitedly. "She reminds me of Mikan Kurusowa from Apocalypse Ice."

Damian waited for the next contestant to arrive, but nobody showed up after a number of minutes. "Uh...Chef?" Damian said. "Is there anyone else on the bus?"

"Only those two nerds that operate that robot." Hatchet said.

"Where the hell is he?" Damian scratched his head.

Suddenly, and individual on a motorcycle drove into the campground and stopped with a loud screech, kicking up mud, which happened to land on Kari.

"Aw." Kari whimpered.

The biker removed their helmet and got off the motorcycle. The biker was a mid-height white boy with dirty blonde colored hair, and a tiny mustache and chin stubble of matching color. He wore square glasses, a dark red tracksuit over a red shirt, along with a brown belt with a metal buckle, dark grey pants, white and red sneakers, and black fingerless gloves.

"There you are, Brock!" Damian said, storming over to the boy. "What in the hell was that?!"

"Hey, man." The boy said. "I just wanted to show everyone my sick biking skills. Because if it's got wheels, I can deals. Hola computadores!"

"Computadores? What is that?" Winona asked.

"It's Spanish, girl. I'm fluent." Brock grinned.

"Wait. Isn't computadores 'computers'?" Winona wondered.

"Naw, man." Brock shook his head. "It's competitors. Like how I'm gonna ganador this compaytissiown. That means I'm gonna win this contest."

Jack and Luke looked over Brock's motorcycle, amazed.

"Dude!" Luke said, smiling. "This bike is awesome!"

"Yeah, man." Jack grinned. "Where did you get it?"

Brock beamed as he saw the tall, ponytailed man. "Jack! You're here?! This is awesome!" Brock said, excitedly.

"Wait, I'm confused." Luke said. "Why is this a big deal? I mean, Jack seems great. But...why?"

"Yo, Jack and I went to the same school. He graduated this year. This dude was the king of the school." Brock explained.

Jack chuckled. "Well, I don't know about king."

"Don't give me that shit, Jack." Brock replied. "Everyone knew you, everyone loved you. Now this game is gonna have competition. El gameadores is on, boy." Brock chuckled.

"...Well, either way. Sick bike, man." Jack replied.

"Hey, thanks." Brock smiled. "It's a Harley Softail. This thing is great. Not my pride and joy, though. That's my motocross bike. No way in hell I'd bring that here."

"Think you could give me a ride sometime?" Luke asked.

"Sure, I don't see why not." Brock shrugged. "Fuck it, let's go, right now!"

"Not so fast, Brock." Damian said. "Now that everyone is here, it's time to get this game going."

The twenty two campers followed Damian to the main grounds of the campsite. "Alright, campers." Damian pointed to two long cabins. "These are where you'll be sleeping. A cabin for the boys and a cabin for the girls."

"Uh. What about trans? Non-binary? Genderqueer?" Xena asked.

"What in the hell?" Garrett mumbled.

"And if you'll follow me…" Damian continued walking.

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Damian: And, like previous seasons. The confessional is always open if you ever feel like you need to say something directly to the audience. I recommend you use this.

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"Now." Damian continued. "Time to explain the challenge."

"Wait. Don't we usually get teams, first?" Winona asked.

"Ah, that's the twist of your first challenge." Damian said. "For your first challenge, there will be no teams! One single person will be immune and the other twenty one of you will have to vote someone off!"

This was met with gasps.

"And, as for your challenge. It will be a simply race around the campground. From this cabin, down the track labeled out, and back here. Sound good?" Damian asked.

The campers shrugged and nodded.

"Alright." Said Damian. "We'll start your challenge soon. Why don't you all go make a confessional before we begin?"

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Brock: Alright. I'm revved and ready. I'm gonna be the ganardor!

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Chesney: Oh my. There are so many hot guys, just like in my romance novels. I will make sure one of them falls in love with me!

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Diana: Well, this bunch seems mighty kind. Hopefully this'll be a relaxin' summer. And a millyan bucks wouldn't hurt, either.

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Dude: Duuuude… (Dude smirked)

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Flora: I'm getting good vibes from some of these people. Others are really harvesting some dark chi. Hopefully they'll, you know, open up to the ways of mother earth. (Flora took out what looked like a blunt, lit it, and began to smoke.) Literally hotboxing, maaan…

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Garrett: This game has a lot more freaks than usual. It's fuckin' gross. They're are three kids in capes fer god sake! But I intend ta fuckin' destroy all of 'em and win that millyan...And it fuckin' stinks like weed in here!

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Jack: It's kinda weird to see Brock here. But he's right. I'm kind of royalty back at my high school. But those days are behind me. I'll always be a cavalier. But here. I'm Jack Makwa, Total Drama competitor. And hopefully, Total Drama winner. Ra ra, Oreville! Goooo Cavaliers!

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Jynxie: I am so! Fucking! **Pumped**! Let's fucking rock this shit!

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Kari: I've already gotten beaten up so much today… I hope it isn't like this all summer. And I really hope it doesn't cause me to leave early…

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Lance: I've already got an evil legion set up. I will rule this competition! And win it, too! For evil! If that little twerp in the yellow cape thinks he can stop me, he's dead wrong. Mwahahahahahaha!

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Luke: I've already got two villainous adversaries! The evil witch, Tara and the monstrous psycho, Lance! This is gonna be so much fun!

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May: I'm so excited to begin! I sure hope I can make some friends while here. Loving anime more than almost anything else doesn't exactly earn you a lot of friends. Xena seems nice, though. Even if she's a bit of a wacko.

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Moonclaw: Haha! Now, they'll all feel the wrath, the primal power of the wolf! Rawr! AOOOOOOO!

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Rapheala: Well, as I stated earlier, this competition seems like it will be of to a fiery start, especially with this rather odd twist. I believe my intelligence will keep me in this competition. Granted, this first challenge is physical, and I'm not exactly the most athletic individual. Rather, I am quite endomorphic. But I'm confident that, given that there are also mental challenges, I will be able to excel.

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Richy: Oho. This is an interesting twist. It'll certainly change the way of thinking on who to eliminate first. I wonder if we'll be able to choose teams as well, ala Total Drama Action. Well, I'm already set up with a few allies from the get-go, and have made some social connections. So I don't have to worry a whole lot, at the moment. I can just enjoy the fact that I'm actually on Total Drama! I wanna be famous!

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Salem: Haha! If these fools think they can defeat a creature as powerful as a vampire, they are sorely mistaken! It's time for I, Salem Ravenlocke, to take the night! Hahahaha! (Salem threw his hands in the air and hit the ceiling) Owww….

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Stratbot: I already have three different allies. Putting them all in the same alliance would be too risky. As would leaving them all separate. Perhaps I will merge two alliances of mine into one and then have the other ally for support. Gameplay: Engage. (Strabot pressed on the blue circle on his chest and heavy metal music began to play.) There's...there's no gameplay button. That was symbolic. (After a bit of a pause, Stratbot began to lightly headbang to the music)

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Suzy: I'm actually surprised they all haven't already given up. I mean, look at me. I'm so going to win this competition. Those losers should just give up.

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Tara: Ehehehehee… I can't wait to play with my new test subjec-I mean...fellow competitors… (Tara grinned connivingly)

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Winona: Oh boy! A physical challenge, already. Get the charts ready, Ginny. Time to add Winona Nayl to my reality TV jocks list. And I'm sure my stats will be the highest. I would be on par with Lightning if I win. But this season will probably also have more episode. So I'd still win….Let's go!

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Wulfric: Well, it appears that I may have some lovely ladies under my thumb already. Alright, peasants, prepare to feel the sly, stunning fury of Wulfric von Czar. Prince of Cyfrasia.

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Xena: I'm already disgusted by this game. Literally the only one I can even talk to is May. Everyone else is patriarchal trash!

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"And there you have it." Damian said. "Our twenty two new competitors. Who will win the coveted individual immunity in our round one twist? Find out next time. Here! On Total! Drama! Cabin Fever!"


	2. Ep2- Mini Merge Mayhem

"Last time on Total Drama Cabin Fever!" Damian said at the beginning of a dirt road for the recap. "We were introduced to our twenty two new competitors. From anime fangirl May, to motor-prodigy Brock, to high school royalty Jack and so much more. This cast is sure to keep you on your toes. They're about to start their first challenge. With a little twist. The first round is comprised of...no teams! Who will leave the game before the teams are even formed? Find out now. On Total! Drama! Cabin Fever!"

The twenty two campers prepared themselves as Damian held up the starting pistol. "Ready?" Damian said. "Go!" He fired the pistol, causing a mallard duck to fall to the ground. "Uh, Chef. Dinner."

The cast of teens began sprinting along the path. Soon, the lead consisted of Jack, Garrett, Stratbot, Winona, and Jynxie. Behind them were the group of Richy, Brock, Luke, Lance, Wulfric, May, Xena, Salem, and Moonclaw, who was running on all fours. Trailing a bit were Tara, Suzy, Dude, Kari, and Diana. Bringing up the rear were Rapheala, Flora, who was barely running, and Chesney.

"Think ya can beat me, Injin?" Garrett chuckled.

"Well, let's see. I was in track all four years of my high school career. Football in three. Lacrosse in one. Hockey in two. What do you think?" Jack smirked cockily.

Garrett grunted angrily and sped up.

"Game on, cowboy." Jack chuckled as he chased after Garrett.

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Garrett: Psh. Just because he flaunts his fancy medals doesn't mean he can beat me. I'll show that boy how a man wins challenges!

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Jack: Heh. I like Garrett. He's fiery. Especially if I start beating him. The sodium will keep piling.

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"Damn, you're fast!" Jynxie shouted to Winona.

"Thank you!" Winona smiled. "I was in track in school. I'll never be Usain Bolt fast, though."

"Who the hell is that?" Jynxie asked.

"Fastest man in the world. Jamaican Olympic runner." Winona explained.

"Hey, Stratbot! Wait up!" Jynxie shouted, now ignoring Winona.

"I cannot wait up." Stratbot replied. "I must win immunity."

"That's so gonna happen! You're so fast! Plus, I'll help!" Jynxie yelled.

"Um...how?" Stratbot looked puzzled.

"The butterfly effect or whatever!" Jynxie tossed a rock into an oncoming bird's nest. The birds inside happened to be eagles. The birds of prey flew away angrily.

"Oh I see. That will slow down the others in the back. Leaving us to only face off against the two ahead of us." Stratbot explained.

"Exactly!" Jynxie cackled. "Now let's catch up to those boys! Girl and robot power!"

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Stratbot: Jynxie is interesting, that's for sure. I mean. I value her as an ally and a friend. But she's a little...wild.

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Jynxie: I wonder who's gonna get the pissed off birds. (Jynxie chuckled) But Stratbot and I got this! We fucking got this!

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Soon, Richy caught up to Winona. "So." Richy asked the girl. "What do you think of this twist?"

"Twist?" Winona asked, puzzled. "What do you mean?"

"You know. This whole first round merge thing." Richy said.

"Oh, it's interesting, I suppose." Winona smiled.

"I mean, think about it. Do we vote a straggler or get a challenge threat out right away? Makes you think." Richy explained.

"Oh jeez. I hope that doesn't happen to me." Winona said, worried.

"It's all about setting up numbers." Richy said.

"And, you know, winning immunity." Winona smirked, running ahead.

"Hey!" Richy laughed. "Get back here!"

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Richy: Winona's cute, I guess. I just she can set up good social connections. If not, that challenge skill that she kinda has will be a tool and nothing else. But she seems on the ball, socially. She's fun to talk to.

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Winona: I think Richy cares a little too much about this game itself. It's still just a game, dude. I mean, I game I intend to win. But still. You get it.

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"Ugh." Brock groaned. "This would be way easier on my bike."

"Why didn't you just do that?" Lance asked.

"Because that wouldn't be fair. It wouldn't be fun for anyone if it wasn't fair." Luke replied.

"Oh really?" Lance smirked. "Well." Lance took a bag out of his pocket and emptied it behind the contents seemed to be small balloons.

"What were in those, villain?" Luke said hammily.

"Oh just a really powerful adhesive that, when the balloon is popped, will cause whoever stepped on it to be stuck to the ground!" Lance cackled.

"Woah! Bro, what's that made of?" Brock asked.

"Beats me." Lance shrugged. "I found it in the garage at my dad's house."

"That's just despicable!" Luke announced.

"Correct, hero!" Lance sneered. "And, without that extra wait, I will be off! Goodbye, goody-goody! Mwahahahaha!" Lance sprinted.

"Wait! Get back here vilain!" Luke said triumphantly.

Brock chuckled. "You guys are a lot of fun!" He shouted.

"Right?!" Luke replied. "I'm having a blast!"

Then, Brock noticed he was jogging alone. "Oh...well then…"

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Luke: With good, must come evil. So I intend on defeating Lance in this game and stopping his villainous deeds! I just hope he's having as much fun as I am. This is all pretend, right?

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Lance: Urgh! I hate that little rodent, Luke! Trying to interfere with my evil schemes! I'll show him…

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Brock: Yo, those two should make a movie or a cop duo or something. (Brock laughed)

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Wulfric, May and Xena were all running together. However, Xena was less than satisfied with Wulfric's presence.

"So Cyfrasia ships gold?" May asked Wulfric.

"Indeed, madam." Wulfric mused. "Cyfrasia also manufactures some of the world's most beautiful golden jewelry."

"Oooh! Sore wa totemo kurudesu!" May said brightly.

"Weeb alert! Weeb alert!" Xena laughed.

"Stop it." May giggled.

"But seriously, you privileged trash." Xena growled at Wulfric. "Leave us alone."

"Well, excuse me for-Aggh!" Wulfric almost fell over as he was stopped in his tracks with a loud pop. He looked down to see that he stepped into some form of super glue. The prince pouted in frustration.

"Haha! Serves you right, rapist! GAH!" Xena then stepped into a balloon of the sticky ooze as well, rendering her motionless.

May looked down and saw that she was approaching another glob of the substance, she quickly ran out of its way and continued running. "Sorry, Xena!" She cried out. "I have to win immunity."

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Wulfric: Urgh. That stupid girl is interfering with my plans. If I'm to make progress in this game, I need a harem at my side.

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Xena: Well, at least that bigoted rapist, Wulfric can't win immunity, either…

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Salem and Moonclaw ran together, conversing a bit.

"You cannot outmatch the speed of a vampire, wolf!" Salem shouted.

"Is that why you're behind so many people?" Moonclaw chuckled. "I'm keeping up with you and I'm on all fours!"

"Hush!" Salem replied. "The sun drains me of my power!"

"If you say so." Moonclaw cackled.

"I'll show you, beast!" Salem said. "Avian allies! Come to me!"

"What? Since when can vampires summon birds?" Moonclaw asked.

"Since forever." Salem pointed out.

Suddenly, two pissed off looking eagles flew towards the two monster boys.

"Yes! I did it!" Salem cheered, before the birds began to attack him. "Agh! Help!"

Moonclaw quickly pounced on one of the eagles, pinning it down. "Ha! Got'cha!"" Moonclaw growled with a smile. The bird shrieked and writhed before scratching Moonclaw's neck with one of its talons. "Ow!" The wolf boy winced, holding his neck. The eagle, free of Moonclaw's grasp, began to assault the boy. Tara lightly jogged by, looking at the scuffle. "Tough luck, boys." She chuckled darkly. The dark clad girl continued to run, before noticing the balloons. She took out a small knife and popped a few, exposing the sticky substance. "Tsk. Tsk. Tsk." She said, pulling out a vial and sprinkling it on the goo, causing it to bubble. Tara stepped in it and saw that the substance was now really slippery. She began to skate along the goop, now tossing what looked like large seeds in every direction, sans forward.

The eagles stopped scratching and pecking at Salem and Moonclaw. The two boys saw Tara's lead ahead of them.

"After her!" Salem shouted.

"Aooooo!" Moonclaw howled.

The monster boys ran after Tara, soon slipping into the fluid and falling down. They were unable to get up, due to constant slipping.

"This is bad…" Salem said, worried.

Moonclaw managed to get up. "Later, Drac!" Moonclaw laughed before running on all fours again. However, he stepped on one of the 'seeds' and shuddered as if he were hit with a taser. He fell to the ground, twitching.

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Moonclaw: The witch plays dirty. Well. I'll show her the power of the wolf! Rawr! Hehehe.

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Salem: People are already playing dirty? W-well. That's no problem for a vampire! Evil incarnate! Haha! Ha...ha…

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Tara: What were those things that stopped wolf boy? (Tara took a few more of the objects out of her pocket) They're small nut casings filled with a special powder of my creation. When tightly packed and put under pressure, it vibrates immensely. Causing any victims to seize like crazy. (Tara giggled wickedly)

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Suzy, Dude, Kari, and Diana, all jogged lightly, clearly not trying incredibly hard.

"I take it ya guys wanna take it easy in this challenge, too?" Diana asked the other three.

"I don't _need_ to try." Suzy boasted. "There's no way anyone's gonna get rid of me. I mean, fucking look at me. I'm perfection incarnate."

Dude simply chuckled.

"What are you laughing at, frat fat?" Suzy hissed.

"Dude?" Dude looked at the camera, confused.

"I-I just don't wanna run into anything that could hurt me. That happens a lot." Kari mumbled. Just then, she stepped on a shell planted by Tara and began seizing like crazy. "Like...like that…" Kari squeaked, obviously fighting tears.

"What in sam hill just happened ta her?" Diana asked.

Dude shrugged, before stepping on one himself and shuddering a bit. "Woahhh…" He said, standing motionless, before shaking it off and continuing to run.

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Dude: (Dude patted his stomach) Duuuuude…

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"Come to think of it, why am I even running?" Suzy asked no one in particular. "Big guy, you should be carrying me!"

"Dude?" Dude pointed to himself.

"No I'm not a dude. I'm a symbol of perfection that really shouldn't be lowered to walking. Now carry meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Suzy shouted before slipping in the substance left behind by Lance and Tara's combined sabotage.

"Aw, dude!" Dude said with a smile before sliding on his belly and speeding ahead.

Diana simply looked confused and saw Salem and Suzy struggling in the goop, while Moonclaw stood up, shaking.

"Uh, do ya'll need help?" Diana asked.

"No. I'm on my own!" Moonclaw got back on all fours and sprinted off.

"Yes, I need help goddammit!" Suzy barked. "You shouldn't even be asking."

"Please help." Salem said, panicking slightly.

Diana pulled the two out of the slippery ooze, before stepping onto a balloon, leaving her motionless. "What in tarnation?" She said, looking down at her glued down feet.

"Thank you, madam!" Salem said with a smile. "Now. I must be off!" The vampire boy then took off.

"Wait! I need someone to carry me!" Suzy whined. She then turned to Diana, who was trying to free herself from the grasp on her feet. "Well?"

"Well what?" Diana asked.

"Urgh. Whatever. You're useless." Suzy rolled her eyes and walked away.

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Suzy: Ugh. The nerve of all of these people. Can't they see that perfection like me shouldn't be resorted to running. I mean, I really don't even have to try in this challenge.

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Diana: That girl is kinda cracked in the head.

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Rapheala and Chesney were jogging as fast as they could, but soon stopped. Flora simply walked with them laxly.

"Is there...a…" Rapheala inhaled and exhaled. "discernable reason as to why you're not running?" Rapheala asked Flora.

"Not really. Not letting the competition get to me, you know? Letting the flow go." Flora said spacily.

"I must warn you...that's not a very proactive way to approach the game." Rapheala instructed. "Especially since this first vote is a free-for-all, you could be see as dead weight."

"I don't want that! I still need to find love!" Chesney panicked as she began running again.

"I got this. Mother earth will assist me, man." Flora replied. "Besides, I don't wanna hurt my feet too badly."

"Then why didn't you just wear shoes?" Rapheala asked. "Your entire beginning approach to this competition wasn't very well planned out. In fact, you're extremely ill prepared, no offense delivered, of course."

"No offense taken, fellow starchild." Flora said with a stoned grin.

"Well, my lungs have once again received an acceptable amount of oxygen. I'm going to continue running. Achieving first place in this race is futile for me, at this point. I am going to attempt to not receive last place, though. Because, as I warned you. Last place in this race could also mean last place in this game. Good luck to you." With that, Rapheala began jogging again, quickly catching up to Chesney, who stopped again.

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Rapheala: It's just a simple way of going about it. In reality competitions, human nature kicks in at it's most dramatic. Which causes the mind to take turns it normally wouldn't, mostly in a very primal direction. The members of a clan who are causing the most disruption and the weakest members are always picked off first.

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Chesney: I can't run. The challenge sucks. I just hope this doesn't make me look bad to anyone. Especially those three boys. (Chesney sighed dreamily)

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Flora: It's no problem at all. That chubby girl needs to just relax and let the spirit of the earth calm her soul.

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Suzy continued walking, when she noticed Wulfric and Xena, still trying to break from their glued restraints.

"Excuse me, miss." Wulfric began. "Would you mind helping me out of this, er, situation?"

"Tss. Like I owe you anything. If anything, you should be helping me." Suzy hissed.

"Ha! Take that, bigot!" Xena laughed at Wulfric. "Fight the power, girl!"

"Shut up, bad fashion sense." Suzy put a hand in front of Xena's face.

"Excuse me?" Xena growled.

"Well, she is right. Your sense of style is atrocious." Wulfric snickered.

"Shut it, you privileged pig!" Xena snapped.

"So, do either of you wanna carry me to my deserved win?" Suzy asked the two.

"If you get me out of here, I shall carry you, my dear." Wulfric bowed half assedly, given his bound feet.

"Tch. Fuckboy." Xena scoffed.

Suzy grabbed Wulfric's arms and began to pull as hard as she could. Soon, Wulfric was freed from the glue-like substance.

"Thank you, madam." Wulfric smirked, suavely. "Although, you could've at least been a bit more careful. This suit is expensive…"

"Whatever. You're carrying me, now." Suzy said quickly.

Wulfric groaned. "Fine…."

Suzy jumped into the prince's arms. "That's more like it. Now start running."

Wulfric rolled his eyes and proceeded to run.

"Wait! You're just leaving me here!?" Xena snapped.

"Seems like it. Quite dreadful, isn't it?" Wulfric replied, looking back with a condescending grin.

"Maybe when you appreciate how great I am. Maybe. Just maybe, I'll help you out." Suzy scoffed.

Xena glared at the two in anger.

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Xena: Ugh. White people. All the same. Greedy, selfish, and have massive egos.

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Wulfric: If possible, I may just let Suzy have immunity if I manage to get to the end before anyone else. It'll put me on her good side, which seems difficult. I align with her, with her obvlious and dumb mind thinking she's running the alliance, then cut her off when she's no longer useful.

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Suzy: (Suzy filed her nails) I've already got a prince waiting on me hand and foot. I'm so gonna win this game.

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Brock continued running on his own, his mind wandering. "Alright. El raceadores." He said to himself. "I got this. I got this. Feet are the human wheels." Suddenly, Brock heard something behind him. He turned his head and saw Tara rushing forward, still using the combination of her and Lance's traps to skate ahead.

"Woah! Where did you come from?!" He shouted, running faster.

Tara proceeded to toss 'seeds' at Brock, but the boy managed to avoid stepping on them.

"What the hell are you throwing at me?!" Brock asked loudly, looking back. Still no answer from Tara as she sped forward, catching up to Brock. The motorist ran as fast as his legs could carry him, but Tara soon caught up and tripped the boy over. Brock fell to the ground as Tara continued on. "Oucho!" Brock shouted as he hit the ground. "Dang poota meerrda." Brock pouted as he got up and continued running.

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Tara: Heeheeheeheehee! I really must thank Lance for his contribution to my victory. You know, aside from being my future pawn throughout this whole game.

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Brock: Dag, yo. That was insane. Feet. Not my style. Maybe I can ask the robot to give me wheels. That'd be rad!

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Moonclaw continued running on all fours, Salem having caught back up with him. Soon, the two ran into Xena, who was still trapped.

"Wolfkin! Help me!" Xena cried out in panic and frustration. "I'm, like, having a panic attack right now!"

"Oh, sure." Moonclaw began scratching at the glue-like substance, only to have his hands stuck. "Oh god!" He panicked as he removed his hands from his clawed gloves. Moonclaw yanked the gloves from the glue, leaving behind a large amount of hair. Salem looked at the two, unsure of what to do or say.

"Well?!" Xena screamed, hyperventilating. "Aren't you gonna help me?!"

"Well, I can't. I'll get stuck!" Moonclaw said frantically.

"Yeah, I don't even wanna get near that stuff." Salem said, worried.

"I wasn't asking you, whitey!" Xena snapped.

Moonclaw and Salem looked at each other, obviously uncomfortable with the situation and swiftly ran off.  
"Wait! Where are you going! You fucking abelist trash!" Xena screamed.

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Moonclaw: I don't get why she yelled at me. I tried and failed. I didn't wanna get stuck in their with her! Especially with how much how much she yells.

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Xena: Ugh! The nerve of those two! And I thought us oppressed had to stick together! The wolfkin didn't even bother to help me!

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Dude continued to slide on his belly, with the aid of the former race hazard. As he slid, he grew closer and closer to Wulfric, who was carrying Suzy. "Woah! Dude!" Dude shouted as he slid in the direction of the man and woman. Soon, Dude collided with the prince and rainbow haired girl, knocking them over, as he continued to slide.

"What the hell, fatso?!" Suzy growled.

"Ugh." Wulfric groaned. "Giant oaf."

"Whatever." Suzy snapped her fingers. "Chop chop."

Wulfric rolled his eyes and held out his arms. Suzy retorted by jumping into the prince's arms. Wulfric struggled a bit before running once again.

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Wulfric: Urgh. That stupid girl. She better remain loyal to me…

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Dude continued to slide through, a bit dazed from before. Soon, friction began to build underneath the frat boy as he slowed down. Finally, Dude stopped sliding all together. "Aw, dude." Dude said in faint lament. He saw that May and Tara weren't too far ahead of him, quickly got up and began to run again.

Up ahead, May continued running as Tara picked up speed. But soon, similar to Dude, she soon ran out of her extra boost and ending up tripping. May continued running, but looked back.

"Are you okay?" May asked.

Tara groaned, got up, and continued running, catching up to May.

"I guess I'll take that as a yes." May then giggled.

Tara only shot a cold glare at the anime fan.

"Ooh hey! Do you know who you remind me of?"

"Something from some Japanese cartoon, I'm sure." Tara rolled her eyes.

"Sarya Katanowa from The Book of Eternity!" May smiled.

"What?" Tara looked confused and annoyed.

"She's basically this evil witch that uses dark magic to make a book. And the book kills people." May explained.

Tara paused before tossing another 'seed' directly in front of May. She stepped on it and began to seize like crazy. Tara snickered and continued jogging.

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May: Owww. What the hell even was that? Okina denki bombs?

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Tara: Was that ethical? No. Did it help me get farther in this race? Yes. (Tara grinned)

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Lance and Luke continued running. Moreso Luke chasing Lance.

"Hahahaha! You'll never catch me, hero!" Lance cackled.

"I shall, villain! In the name of good!" Luke shouted a big grin on his face.

"Oh really?" Lance flashed a twisted grin. "You seem to forget, that I have these!" Lance pulled out another balloon from his pocket.

"What?!" Luke gasped. "You said you got rid of them all!"

"Uh, I'm a villain. Villains do a little thing called lying." Chuckled Lance.

As the white haired villain prepared to tossed the balloon, Luke jumped and tried to grab it from Lance's hand. Lance moved his hand further out of the way and, still running, Luke reached farther. The boys still ran as Luke attempted to struggle the balloon from Lance's hand. Lance prepared to throw the trap onto the hero, but Luke swiftly swatted it from the villain's hand. The balloon went flying and landed in front of Richy, who wasn't too far away. He unknowingly placed a foot onto the balloon, causing it to pop, gluing said foot to the ground.

"Gah!" Richy exclaimed as he fell over. "What in the hell?"

"Hahahahaha!" Lance cackled at Luke, who looked extremely distraught.

"Oh my gosh! I'm sorry!" Luke apologized, as he ran up to Richy and attempted to remove the sticky substance.

"What even was that?" Richy asked.

"Some stuff Lance threw. He's evil." Luke said, scrubbing it away with a pinecone, with surprisingly effective results.

"For the record! That wasn't supposed to hit you, Richy!" Lance shouted as he ran off.

Richy rolled his eyes. "I realize that he's evil."

"Well, we should stop him!" Luke chuckled as he finished scraping the glue-like gunk from Richy's shoe.

"Heh. You're having fun with this, aren't you?" Richy chuckled.

"Yes I am. Now let's go catch that villain!" Luke smiled.

"Here here!" Richy laughed.

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Richy: Obviously I'm not gonna be on Luke's side. But I'll play in his little game. Gotta set up those social connections. That's always key. Lance is totally my endgame goat, though. Jury or challenge, I'm confident I can beat him. Plus, he makes me laugh. You know, when he's not sabotaging me… But, he seems a bit too one-note and thickheaded to try and backstab me. Or, at least, try and succeed. And I know he'd flip his lid if Luke joined our alliance. So Luke is just another wire in my big social...mess of wires...I need a better analogy for this.

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Luke: Richy's cool. He seems like another hero fighting for the cause of good!

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Lance: Tss. Like Richy would drop me. He needs me. It's not like I'm gonna hurl my evil at him anyway. That is, until I backstab him when he's no longer useful. Mwahahaha!

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Kari shakily stood up and noticed that Diana was still glued to the ground.

"You alright there?" Diana asked. "That must'a taken a toll on ya. You were straight up out for quite a bit of time there."

"W-well, that's my luck." Kari said, half-heartedly chuckling.

"Prolly also 'cause ya pretty much weigh not even a buck." Diana giggled.

"What?" Kari looked confused and scared.

"Yer small." Diana explained.

"O-oh right…" Kari mumbled.

"Well, uh, we're not winnin' this race by just standin' here. Mind helpin' me out?" Diana asked calmly.

"With what?" Kari asked.

"Uh..how 'bout that pinecone over there?" Diana pointed to a pinecone just out of her reach.

"O-okay." Kari walked over to the object and began to scrape at at the glue, this method was proven to be effective as Diana was soon freed.

"Might kind of ya." Diana smiled. "Let's go." Diana began jogging. Kari followed, but soon tripped.

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Diana: I know we're not gonna be winnin' immunity. Fine by me, I'd just prefer ta not get last place. That would probably keep me from relaxin', because I'm sure a ton'a people would be gunnin' fer me. I'm actually worried about poor Kari, though. That bad luck and clumsiness of hers won't be good…

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Kari: I feel like I'm gonna get voted out first. There's no way anyone's gonna want me on their team w-with how crappy m-my luck is...and my poor people skills…

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Rapheala and Chesney continued to jog frantically. Chesney however kept stopping.

"We must continue, Chesney." Rapheala wheezed. "If not, we will more than likely be perceived as liabilities than any other factor…"

"M-maybe….maybe if I scream like I'm in danger, a strong man will whisk me into his arms and carry me." Chesney suggested.

"The possibility of any such scenario...similar...to that…" Rapheala breathed. "Is extremely illogical and has a very very low chance of occurring."

"It's worth a shot, isn't it?" Chesney asked.

"No. Not at all. As I stated-"

"Heeeeeelllppp!" Chesney screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Like I said...illogical."

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Rapheala: Chesney appears to be a very idealistic individual. Fueled by works of fantasy and beliefs beyond prior scientific knowledge. I'm all for a good tale every so often, but I always keep the fact that it's fiction in the back of my mind. I believe Chesney may have an issue with that. And I believe that will lead to her inevitable downfall.

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Chesney: Is it so much to ask that I can't believe? It always happens in my romance novels. Girl is in danger, hot man saves her. Plain and simple.

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Lance continued running, seeing Winona not too far ahead. He grabbed another balloon and was about to toss it. But soon Tara approached the boy, running as fast as she could.

Lance's face went a bit rid. "Ah! M-my minion!" Lance said a bit nervously. "Have you been doing dastardly acts of evil in this race as well?"

"That's what that is?" Tara said, her tone not one of impression.

"Wh-what do you mean?" Lance stammered.

"It's glue, kid." Tara snickered. "I've been using these." Tara took out a multitude of 'seeds' from her pocket.

"What are those?" Lance asked.

"I'll use one on pigtails over there and show you." Tara smirked as she tossed a few in Winona's direction. The athletic girl stepped on one and began to seize like crazy. She collapsed to the floor, twitching.

"Augh. What even was that? Did my hammies vibrate?" Winona groaned.

"Woah! That was wicked! Wickedly _evil_! Hahahaha!" Lance cackled.

"Now." Tara began as she took the balloon from Lance's hand.

"Hey!" Lance whined.

Tara tossed the balloon onto the ground, causing the glue to spill everywhere.

"Minion! What deed is this?!" Lance barked.

"This." Tara took out another vial and sprinkled it onto the paste, it bubbled. "I'm not fast. Your little glue bombs combined with some of this stuff makes for the best race aid there is. Watch." Tara began skating. Lance soon followed, dumbfounded.

As the two skated off, Winona struggled and got up. She shook her body and began to skate on the slippery goop as well.

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Winona: A little shock never hurt me. I actually got tazed at a wild baseball game, once. (Winona lifted up her shirt to show, along with defined abs, a burn scar) I'm not ready to give up, yet. What do I look like? A euro-football player?

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Tara: I plan on dragging Lance as far as I can. He's just a hotheaded idiot, who's obviously just a scared little kid. I'll let him think he's in charge of this little alliance he has with the robot and I. But I'll be calling the shots.

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Lance: Well. Tara sure knows her way around evil! It's fantastic. A-and she looks good doing it...hehe…

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Stratbot and Jynxie sped forward, trying to catch up to Garrett and Jack, who were neck-in-neck.

Jack and Garrett nudged each other as they grew closer and closer to the finish line.

"Still going, cowboy?" Jack chuckled.

"Oh please, injin! I'm not even breakin' a damn sweat!" Garrett said heartily.

"Alright, Stratbot!" Jynxie shouted. "Operation: Fuck 'em up!" Jynxie jumped onto the robot's shoulders and pressed the center piece on his chest. Loud metal music began to play at full volume. Jack and Garrett covered their ears.

"What th' fuck, ya fuckin' freak?!" Garrett shouted at the top of his lungs.

Jack and Garrett continued to run, however, their speed decreased, allowing Stratbot and Jynxie to catch up. The two large men ran faster as the music grew louder and louder.

"Ugh! Why would you even?!" Jack shouted in pain.

"My fuckin' head!" Garrett clutched his head and fell over.

Jack ran as fast as his legs could carry him, Stratbot and Jynxie trailing behind. Jack approached the finish line and passed through.

"And Jack wins the individual immunity!" Damian announced through the blare of the music.

"WOOHOO!" Jack shouted. "Now." Stratbot reached the finish line, Jynxie on his shoulder. "Please! Shut that off!"

Stratbot pressed the core again, silencing the music. "Sorry." He chuckled.

"Woo! That was wild!" Jynxie yelled, hugging Stratbot.

"Yeah, now ah got a wild fuckin' headache, ya goddamn weirdo…" Garrett groaned.

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Jack: Sweet! First immunity of the season. This could be a sign.

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Garrett: Eugh. So close. I'm sure these spazzes and psychos'll keep me, though. Ah'm damn good at challenges. I just don't wanna talk ta any of 'em…

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Jynxie: So close! But I'm sure Stratbot has a plan. We're safe and I know it!

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Stratbot: Hm...well, now it's just an issue of who comes in last. Would that matter? Should I get rid of a challenge threat first. Wait...Will I be targeted. Nono. I have a solid alliance going. And with a social butterfly ally like Jynxie, I should be okay, at least for right now. That girl is crazy. (Stratbot chuckled)

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Soon, the other campers began to poor in in the order of Tara, Lance, Winona, Richy, Luke, May, Dude, Suzy, Wulfric, Brock, Salem, Moonclaw, Xena who managed to escape from the glue, Kari, Diana, Raphela, Chesney, and Flora, who simply walked through.

"Alright, campers." Damian said. "We're losing sunlight. So you have a couple hours to try and figure out who's leaving. Good luck."

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Xena: As if it's even a question. That cisshit Wulfric is gone!

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

As Jack walked back to the main campground, he was approached by Richy.

"Hey, I just wanted to say. Good job on immunity, today." Richy smiled.

"Oh hey, thanks man." Jack smiled. "The only trouble was the big cowboy. I'm thinking of voting for him. He's fun and all, but he's also good at challenges and, ya know, kinda racist."

"Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about." Richy said.

"Hm? The vote?" Jack asked.

"What else?" Richy chuckled. "How about you and I align? With your brawn and slight brains, my brains and slight brawn, and our combined social prowess, we could take this game by the horns and snap its neck."

"Gross analogy. I like it." Jack smirked. "Yeah, I'm in."

"Awesome." Richy shook hands with Jack. "Also, about the vote. I'm kinda thinking we should ditch Flora."

"Why?" Jack looked confused.

"She tanked in this challenge." Richy explained.

"So? That doesn't always mean she should leave." Jack rebutted.

"Right now it does. What if she's on our team? Hm?" Richy asked.

"Hm..I'll think about it, I'll ask around though. You gonna do the same?" Jack said.

"I'm on it." Richy smiled with a tip of his hat.

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Jack: There we go. Already in an alliance. But I think Richy may be thinking too fast about this. I mean, this vote is gonna be a complete mess. But I know messes. You should've seen my junior prom. The prom king was actually a tie between my friend Kyle and I, so we had a dance off. It was insane. Punch everywhere.

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Richy: The key to this game is to cut off weak links and make connections with strong ones. Along with watching a lot of reality tv, I also read TD fanfics and play in these online games that are essentially Total Drama or Survival where you play as characters. I actually just recently won a game where I played as Scott. Sucker finally gets the win he deserves. (Richy chuckled) But I'm gonna ask around, be social and get the target as far away from me as possible. This vote is gonna be a hot mess and I love it.

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Chesney was reading under a tree as Wulfric approached her, a smug grin on his face. "Hello, Chesney." Wulfric said in a velvety, accented tone.

Chesney's face went red as she saw the prince in her presence. "O-oh! Hello, prince Wulfric!" She stammered.

"Just Wulfric is fine, madam." Wulfric grinned. "I have a proposal for you."

"Of course I'll marry you and be your princess!" Chesney quickly said.

"What? No." Wulfric replied, almost disgusted. "I meant an alliance."

"Oh…" Chesney said, almost sad.

"Listen. Just vote for that yankee squealer Garrett tonight. Think you can do that?" Wulfric smirked sensually at the flustered girl.

"Of course. Anything you want." Chesney said dreamily.

"Wonderful." Wulfric chuckled as he walked off.

"W-wait! Where are you going?!" Chesney panicked.

"I need to spread the vote around. I recommend you do the same." Wulfric explained.

"On it!" Chesney said before running off.

Wulfric grinned darkly.

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Wulfric: Oh, unattractive, stupid, and/or extremely arrogant women are so easily to manipulate. Why am I not voting for that insufferable bitch, Xena? Well, she's useless. Garrett is a loud brute who's good at challenges. Xena is a loud, squealing hog who isn't. It's simple.

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Chesney: Th-this is a fairy tale come true! M-maybe I can get the vampire and werewolf to like me, too. Then they'd all fight over me! Ahh! I'm so happy, right now!

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Garrett sat against the boys cabin in the sun, relaxing, Diana next to him.

"This is the life, ain't it?" Diana asked.

"Ya know it." Garrett said gruffly.

"Do ya plan on talkin' ta anyone else?" Diana continued.

"Nope." Garrett said.

"Why not?" Diana wondered.

"I don't talk ta fuckin' weirdos. Like all'a them. You, the injin, and the kid with the motorcycle are the only ones that seem even half normal." Garrett explained.

"Aw, that's not true." Diana replied.

"It is, though. Maybe I'll talk ta them 'bout who's leavin' er some shit. I dunno." Garrett grunted.

"Alright. Ah think ah am gonna go talk ta some people, though. Good luck." Diana smiled.

"E'yup." Garrett quickly said. "You too."

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Diana: Ah just hope my name's not bein' tossed around. Ah actually wanna relax.

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Garrett: So what if'n I don't wanna talk ta all'a the damn freaks on this fuckin' show? Like that even matters…

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Xena gathered Moonclaw and May up on the hill by an old swingset.

"Alright, fellow oppressed." Xena began. "We have to gang up on someone. Preferably that cis white bastard, Wulfric."

"Shouldn't we look at our options, though? I mean, you don't just make a decision on a whim. This isn't actually an anime. Ooh, that'd be so cool!" May replied.

"Yeah, what she said." Moonclaw said. "It's like, I see a heard of sheep. I'm not gonna sink my fangs into any random sheep. I gotta scope at the flock for the best one. And then RAWR! Tear! Rip! Snap! Baaablech! Aoooo!" Moonclaw laughed and slobbered.

"...That was disturbing." May cringed.

"But aren't you tired of being oppressed! This sheep is oppressive, Moonclaw!" Xena snapped. "I bet he miskins you and makes fun of you for being a wolf."

"Uh...not really. And I don't really care. Because I know I'm a wolf! AOOOO! Haha." Moonclaw growled.

"But! Butbut!" Xena stammered.

"Yeah, Wulfric isn't awful." May shrugged.

"He's raping you, May!" Xena yelled.

"What?! No he isn't!" May gasped.

"He is, though! You see the way he looks at you! That's rape!" Xena pointed out.

"Uh. I'm dressed as a vicious animal whose mating is practically all rape and I know that's not rape." Moonclaw said, confused.

"But!" Xena fumbled.

"Let's ask around, Xena-chan. It's only fair." May smiled.

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Xena: Ugh! They're triggering me! Wulfric is a white man! Which means he's out to rape and manipulate! Besides! There have been too many white and male winners on this fucking show. Owen, Duncan, Lightning, H-

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

May: Xena is my friend. I know we have stuff in common. I just wish she'd give people a chance. Maybe I should show her Private School Club for Butlers. It's all about accepting and inviting people. Plus it's about gender fluidity. She'd love it!

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

Moonclaw: Xena's crazy. Rawr!

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Luke and Salem sat down by the lake and conversed.

"So you're a vampire, but not evil?" Luke asked.

"Nah. Who said all vampires had to be evil? I mean, that doesn't mean I don't feed on the blood of the living and destroy all those that defy me! Hahahaha!" Salem stood up and cackled, before coughing and sitting back down. "But I don't, like, kill for sport or anything."

"Well, that's good. But...you're just pretending right?" Luke asked.

"That I cannot disclose." Salem threw his cape in front of his face and darted his eyes.

"I'm just asking because I don't think Lance is." Luke shrugged.

"The villain guy? He seems like he's pretending." Salem replied.

"I don't know. He seems like he's always mad at me." Luke admitted.

"Do you wanna boot him?" Salem asked.

"No, not at all. If he is pretending, he's a ton of fun. I just wanna know. Why? Do you wanna boot him?" Luke asked.

"No. If there's anyone I wanna ditch, it's Suzy." Salem pointed out.

Luke looked a bit confused. "The rainbow haired girl? Why?"

"She never stops talking about herself. And I feel like she makes fun of guys like us behind our backs." Salem explained.

"Hm. Well that does sound evil. And not the fun kind. Yeah, let's vote her out!" Luke smiled.

"Really?" Salem smiled a bit.

"Yeah, this vote is definitely gonna be a huge mess. I'd be really impressed if someone could put together a huge majority of people in a group of twenty one that just met, like, five hours ago." Luke thought out loud.

"Wait." Salem said cautiously. "What if it's you they're after?"

"Wait. Why me?" Luke asked.

"Wait. I mean, well. Lance has an alliance doesn't he?" Salem wondered.

"I don't know. And besides, I really doubt he'd be that bitter if he's not pretending." Luke pondered.

"Just be cautious." Salem said cryptically. "We shall be voting for Suzy. But you never know what's up someone's sleeve…" Salem then backed away slowly.

Luke looked suspicious. "You're not gonna backstab me, are you?"

"Oh. What? Nononono. I meant watch out for Lance." With that, the vampire boy ran off.

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Salem: For the record. I'm not gonna backstab Luke. I don't like Suzy. She's annoying. And right now is the best time to ditch her while the vote is messy. She'll feel the shadowy sting of the vampire! Hahahaha!

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Luke: Hm. I trust Salem. But maybe I should talk to Lance...I don't know. Maybe not today. If we want that villainous cur, Suzy gone, we will have to spread the word of her nasty neerdowellness! (Luke laughed) If Lance isn't having fun with this hero/villain stuff, he's missing out.

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

"So." Winona said to Brock up in the clearing, near the boy's motorcycle. "Do you only play motor sports?"

Brock turned from his bike. "Not really. I played lacrosse in eighth grade and baseball a lot as a kid. But I've been doing motocross and stuff like that my whole life."

"Oh, fun! Who are your favorite cyclists?" Winona asked.

"They're not cyclists, chica. They're riders. But my favorite is Ricky Carmichael. He has a ton of awards and even moved onto NASCAR. I don't like NASCAR, but I respect the hell out of it. It's the el raceadores!" Brock explained.

"Why do you do that?" Winona looked confused.

"Do what?" Brock asked.

"Your fake Spanish. You sound like the only white girl at a pro-soccer game." Winona giggled.

"Hey, I'm fluent in Spanish. Cohmay me wordos, chica atlettica." Brock accused.

"So, who are you thinking of voting for right now?" Winona asked.

"I have no clue. Who got dead last?" Brock asked, turning back to his bike.

"The hippie girl. She didn't even try. I'm thinking of voting her, too." Winona admitted. "Nothing personal. She just doesn't try. So I guess she doesn't wanna be here."

"Sounds fair. I'm gonna go ask el Jackolorenzo. He always has the answer." Brock smiled as he walked away.

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Winona: Huh. I seriously thought Brock and I would have more in common.

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Brock: Yeah, I thought Winona would know more about motor sports. Eh, whatever. Time to ask the Jack-man about the vote. Wakawakawanipo! That's both a reference and racist. It's like I'm an adult cartoon. Boom!

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Richy met with Lance and Stratbot in the woods.

"I say we eliminate that idiotic hero, Luke!" Lance barked.

"Why?" Stratbot asked. "Other than because he's a hero."

Lance was about to speak, but couldn't think of anything.

"Well, here's what I'm thinking. We ditch Flora." Richy brought up.

"Why? Because she's dead weight?" Lance blurted.

"Exactly." Richy concurred.

"But shouldn't we eliminate a challenge threat right off the bat?" Stratbot questioned.

"That's the thing. I know people would wanna ditch a challenge threat because there's a chance that said threat could end up on a different team. But right now, I'm thinking Flora is basically a sack of flour that it would be basically a cripple if she were on our team."

"Uh, hey genius. Who says we're even gonna be on the same team?" Lance hissed.

"He does compute a good point." Stratbot pointed out. "This is kind of a double standard."

"Flora also talks to nobody." Richy brought up.

"Neither does that hick prick, Garrett. And he's a lot louder." Lance explained.

"I'd much rather deal with Garrett's aloofness and bullshit and have him possibly lead our team to victory than having Flora's aloofness, useless hippie talk and pot smoking and have her drag our whole team down." Richy rebutted.

"I mean. I guess that makes sense. Do you have the numbers, though?" Stratbot asked. "This is a twenty two way vote with only one person immune."

"Ah, but I know I have that said immunity winner as a vote. And if he's as much of a social king as he says, there's no way this little 'Flora is dead weight' bug won't spread." Richy reassured.

"That's diabolical! I love it!" Lance cackled. "But I still don't think it should be Flora. We could use this evil scheme on literally anyone."

Richy sighed. "Well, Lance. Flora's a hippie."

"Yeah. We've established that." Lance growled.

"And hippies want to protect the environment and promote peace and love. Everything you, as a villain, stand against." Richy explained.

Lance gasped. "You're right! That goody-goody hippie is gone! Robot minion! Come! We must spread the word!"

Stratbot shrugged. "Alright, I'm alright with this plan."

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Richy: Oh I'm very very sure I'll be getting a CPN in this episode. But, with me not being all about winning like, say, Heather or Alejandro and making a few friends along the way, I'm a shoo-in for an overall CPM. And that's a very common winner's edit right there. (Richy winked)

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Lance: Now I just have to mention Flora being useless in the ring of the Legion of Evil! Then it'll look like it was my idea.

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

Stratbot: Oh, did I neglect to mention? Richy, Lance and I are an alliance. My databank doesn't have any data relating to me mentioning that via confessional before this point. Oh well. That's happening, now. Maybe Richy mentioned it.

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

"It is a pleasure to meet both of you female fellow competitors." Rapheala smiled to Kari and Diana, who sat near her.

"Yeah, ah don't reckon we've really talked yet." Diana smirked.

"H-hi…" Kari squeaked.

"So. Onto business. I believe, statistically, our first eliminated contestant should be either one of these three females. Suzy, Flora, or Chesney." Rapheala explained.

"What did they do?" Kari asked.

"Yer gonna need a bit more than just that ol' list, girl." Diana raised an eyebrow.

"Well, it is fairly simple, ladies." Rapheala began. "These three women did not do a very efficient job in the challenge today, which could already cause them to be seen as slackers and not very worth being on any team."

"Go on." Diana looked intrigued.

"W-wait...Didn't you not do well in the challenge, too?" Kari wondered.

"Yes, I do admit, my rather endomorphic and soft exterior slowed me down in the challenge." Rapheala admitted. "However, that goes to my second point. With no ill intent, none of these women are the most intelligent. Suzy only talks about herself and lets her vapid ego grow immensely. Chesney may be a reader, but it is fairly obvious that she doesn't have the largest grip on reality. And Flora. Well, I don't really need to give a lecture on how cannabis affects the brain."

"Cannabis?" Kari looked confused.

"Weed." Diana replied.

"O-oh...okay…" Kari mumbled. "That makes sense."

"Well then which one are ya thinkin'?" Diana asked.

"I'm partial to Suzy. She seems mean." Kari added.

"As am I." Rapheala agreed. "Not so much because of whether or not she treats people like trash, but more along the lines of she seems impossible to work with. Flora and Chesney at least seem as if they'd be willing to vote with people. But with Suzy, it's her way or the highway. Which is most unsatisfactory. Are we in agreements? Suzy leaves?" Rapheala asked.

Kari nodded.

"Sounds good ta me." Diana shrugged.

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Rapheala: As I've said. It's really nothing personal. I'm just attempting to play as logically as possible. However, I am thinking of talking to those three women.

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Diana: No skin off my nose. Ah'm not hearin' my name, so ah can chill. Yeah, I feel bad for Suzy. But this boot isn't nearly as hectic as I thought it'd be.

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Kari: N-nobody has considered me? Well, that's good, I suppose. (Kari smiled a bit)

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Jack walked towards the lake before he was approached by Brock.

"Yo, Jack!" Brock said.

"Hey, Brock. What's good, man?" Jack smiled.

"Who are you thinking for the boot? Oh, and congrats on immunity." Brock stated.

"Well, I've heard Flora and I think Suzy." Jack answered.

"Oh, cool. I've only heard Flora." Brock replied.

"Who told you?" Jack asked.

"Winona. You know, the sporty chick." Brock said.

"Oh, huh. So more people do want her gone." Jack pondered.

"Hm?" Brock questioned.

"Richy's trying to get rid of her, too." Jack explained. "Here, let's ask Garrett."

"Why him specfically?" Brock asked.

"He's right over there." Jack pointed to Garrett, who was relaxing not too far away.

"Oh, whoops." Brock said blankly as the two boys walked over to the southern man.

"Yo, Garrett." Jack nudged the cowboy.

"What?" Garrett asked before moving his hat from his eyes. "Oh look. It's two of the four people in this game who aren't fuckin' weirdos."

Brock and Jack looked at each other, confused.

"What do ya want?" Garrett asked the boys.

"Well, what are you thinking in terms of the vote tonight?" Jack asked.

"Ah haven't heard anythin'." Garrett said.

"Nothing?" Brock wondered.

"Nothin'." Garrett reassured.

"Well, we're thinking Flora." Jack said. "You in?"

"That dope smokin' hippie? Sure, I'm good fer that." Garrett shrugged.

"Awesome." Jack gave a thumbs ups. "Oh, and another idea. How about the three of us continue to work together?"

"Yo, I'm so game!" Brock said excitedly.

"Yeah, sure. That's fine. I'm callin' the shots, though." Garrett said.

"I don't know about that." Jack raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, bro." Brock added. "This is Jack we're talking about. Fucking. Jack. Makwa. Bro."

"And?" Garrett asked.

"He doesn't get it, Jack." Said Brock.

"I understand why he wouldn't." Jack shrugged. "We'll take your suggestions first. How about that?" Jack asked.

"Eh, sure. Whatever." Garrett complied. "Just leave me alone fer now."

"Alright, cool. And remember. Flora." Jack added as he and Brock walked off.

"Yep….Fuckin' pot smokin' hippie…" Garrett grumbled.

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Jack: Hey, I never said Richy would be my only ally. I already know Brock and Garrett is dangerous, but doesn't hate me. So he's good to have on my side. I totally want to make final four with those two and Richy, though. But right now I'm not merging those alliances. Being an honor student has perks. (Jack grinned)

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Brock: Dude, this vote is gonna be so easy. Plus I'm in an alliance with Jack and Garrett. I'm stacked, man. El stackoed.

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Garrett: Havin' allies will at least keep people from wantin' me gone. Like that'll happen, though. They're all too much in their freaky little fantasies ta even think about someone normal like me. (Garrett rolled his eyes)

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Stratbot and Jynxie met up in the empty girls cabin.

"So ,what have you heard?" Stratbot asked.

"Um, I've heard Garrett, Suzy, Flora, and I think that Asian chick was bitching about Wulfric." Jynxie answered.

"Alright. I'm thinking we focus our votes on either Flora or Suzy." Stratbot explained. "Which have you heard more?"

"I don't fucking know. I think Flora." Jynxie shrugged.

"Hm...Then I believe we shall vote for Flora. Her challenge and social skills aren't the best. She has proven to be a rather unskilled organism." Stratbot declared.

"Ooh, organism! I love your robot speak~" Jynxie said with a smile.

"O-oh. Um, yes, okay. Flora it is, then?" Stratbot stammered.

"Mhm! Besides, hippie music sucks. It's all about that **fucking laser sick metal!** " Jynxie activated the boombox in Stratbot's system and began frantically dancing. She soon took her jacket off, revealing two tattoo sleeves across her arms. The punk looked at the robot and grinned. Stratbot looked unsure of what to do.

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

Jynxie: Gonna be real here. I like metal. But I also like _metal_ , if you catch my drift. I've always had one of those fantasy kinks for robots. I'm gonna see if I can teach this robot to love. The Jynxie way. (Jynxie giggled)

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Stratbot: (Stratbot looked a bit flustered) I-I'm unsure of what that was, exactly. But I'm glad Jynxie is on my side. I highly doubted that she wouldn't be though…

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Dude and Flora sat together, Flora very obviously high.

"Duuude…" Flora said in a daze.

"Duuude." Dude responded.

"So, like, man, dude, man…." Flora said before chuckling.

"Woahhhh." Dude chuckled.

"So like. Who are we voting for? I don't wanna, man. It wreck the universe's chi when we fight." Flora groaned, taking another hit of her joint.

"Dude…" Dude nodded.

"I'm thinking the cowboy. He's, like, all about the system against mother nature, man…" Flora droned.

"Duuude…" Dude grinned.

"You totally get me. That's what I love about you." Flora took another hit of her joint and blew smoke rings in the air.

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Dude: Ch'ya…

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Flora: Dude is, like, so one with the earth and noise. His chi is so pure, man…

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Suzy relaxed on the beach in a bikini, Wulfric holding a towel for her a very annoyed look on his face.

"Remind me just why I'm doing this for you, again…" Wulfric growled.

"Uh, because I'm better than you and you want my vote. Duh." Suzy scoffed.

"Well, we're voting for Garrett…" Wulfric groaned.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Quit talking. The camera turned to your slightly gorgeous face when you talk. When it should be focused on my steaming hot body." Suzy winked to the camera.

Wulfric looked at the camera, a face of utter annoyance.

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Wulfric: I shouldn't have to put up with this. I'm royalty for god's sake! I need numbers, though. And those two impressionable girls, Chesney and May won't cut it. I just don't get how Suzy is so immune to my charms…

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

Suzy: Tss. Wulfric may be a hot prince, but he should be humbled to even be in my presence. So that's why, if I hear a better deal for a vote, I'm turning on him. I mean that screaming cowboy is gross. But I'm not letting Wulfric walk all over me.

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

May approached Winona, who was doing yoga in the clearing.

"Oh hi." Winona greeted with a smile.

"Hello!" May smiled back. "I'm May."

"Winona." The athlete shook the otaku's hand. "So, what is this getup , by the way? It looks kinda...porno-y."

"What? Nononono!" May giggled nervously. "It's a Japanese schoolgirl uniform. I love anime."

"Oh right. I don't watch it. I think I watched one as a kid, but I'm more of a sports gal." Winona explained.

"Oh? What sports? There's an anime for all of them! And they're all about how gay the male athletes are!" May squealed.

"Oh, cute." Winona giggled. "But I think I'd rather play sports than watch a bunch of gay cartoon boys play them."

"That's fair." May shrugged. "Oh hey! Who are you voting for, tonight?"

"I'm thinking Flora, in all honesty." Winona replied. "She's not really pulling her weight."

"Ah, alright. I'm not sure right now. Xena wants to vote Wulfric. But I think it's just hate fueled." May explained.

"Oh, that's not cool." Winona replied. "Have you tried changing her mind? The mind is a muscle that needs toning too, you know."

"I know, that's why I'm talking to a bunch of people and asking them." May said.

"May! Where did you go?!" Xena screamed from some distance away.

"Oh, there she is." May chuckled. "It's been nice talking to you, Winona!" The anime fangirl waved as she ran off.

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May: Winona's really nice. We may have nothing in common, but I could totally see us being friends. Imagine me. Friends with a jock. It's great!

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

Winona: To be one hundred percent honest, I kinda wanna watch at least one episode of one of those cartoons with the gay athletes. (Winona giggled)

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Lance, Tara, and Stratbot met in a darker area of the woods.

"I declare this first meeting of the Legion of Evil to order!" Lance announced.

Tara and Stratbot halfheartedly clapped.

"So, who are were sending into the plummeting pit of despair with our evil, Lance?" Tara teased.

"W-well.." Lance tugged at his collar. "We, um, my robot minion and I did a bit of reconnaissance!"

"What?" Tara asked.

"We have this fake deal with Richy." Stratbot explained.

"Yes and we've heard that there are quite a few numbers stacked against that goody-goody hippie, Flora!" Lance shouted. "She must be eliminated!"

"Oh her. Right. I kinda forgot she existed. Or rather, I forgot she existed as a person, rather than a cloud of smoke." Tara scoffed. "But whatever, I'm fine with ditching her. She's useless anyway…"

"Excellent! This vote shall go swimmingly! For evil!" Lance cackled. "Laugh with me!"

Stratbot cackled robotically with Lance. Tara gave the automaton a look as if she were embarrassed for him.

"What?" Stratbot asked. "It's contagious."

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

Tara: Lance is still a delusional child who sees me as a pawn. But that robot is pretty shifty. That fake deal could be not-so-fake and those two are just trying to use me. Or Stratbot and Richy are just using Lance. Which is my job. But all this ties into the kid's giant ego. Which makes him the perfect vote shield.

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Wulfric furiously rubbed his temples underneath a tree when Xena and May walked up to him.

"Why hello, madam." Wulfric grinned as he saw May. He then turned to Xena. "What is _it_ doing here?"

"Wow! Fucking rude! The pronoun is _they_ , you cis pig!" Xena snapped.

"Now now, you two." May said calmly. "Wulfric, Xena is being huffy and is already voting for you, so there's no reason to be a baka."

Wulfric rolled his eyes. "I'm not surprised this hairy she beast is voting for me…"

"You know what?!" Xena screamed.

"But we must know. Who are you voting for?" May asked.

"Well if you really must know, I'm voting for Garrett. He's a complete brute." Wulfric stated.

"Oh princey!" Suzy yelled.

"Urgh…" Wulfric groaned. "One of my other votes for that yankee idiot is calling me…" Wulfric flashed a suave grin at May. "Until later, my dear."

"See, Xena. Wulfric is trying to get rid of Garrett. Who's actually worse than Wulfric. Garrett is from Texas." May explained.

Xena crossed her arms and scowled.

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May: Personally, I'd much prefer Garrett gone over Wulfric. People from the south tend to make fun of people like me, as far as I've seen.

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Xena: Guhhh! I thought, as a woman of color, May would be smarter than this! Wulfric is a monster! And I plan on eliminating him. No. Matter. What.

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Brock walked into the boys cabin and grabbed a soda from his duffel bag. "Aw, it's warm." He lamented. "Wait. I was born in Arizona. What the hell am I complaining about?" Brock cracked the soda open and began drinking it. As he headed towards the door, a figure hanging from the ceiling landed hard on the floor, causing Brock to jump in fright.

The figure was revealed to be Salem, who was now groaning in pain. "Owww…" Salem whined.

"You alright, dude?" Brock asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine…" Salem groaned.

"What the hell were you doing?" Brock wondered.

"That's how vampires sleep…" Salem replied.

"Oh yeah, right. You're a vampire." Brock raised an eyebrow. The motorist looked at the ground and saw fake teeth. "Oh and your teeth fell out."

"Oh hey, thanks." The vampire boy picked the teeth up and put them back into his mouth. "Uh. Damn. My neck…"

"Oh wait. Yo. Who are you voting for?" Asked Brock.

"Probably Suzy. She's obnoxious…" Salem stated, cracking his neck.

"Oh. Huh." Brock pondered.

"Why?" Salem wondered.

"I'm voting for Flora." Stated Brock.

"Eh, whatever. Either is fine. This vote is gonna be a mess anyway." Salem shrugged.

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

Brock: Should I tell Jack and Garrett that some people are voting for Suzy? Nah. I'm sure they know and I'm sure there are plenty of numbers for Flora. And if Suzy leaves, whatever. She sucks anyways. (Brock chuckled)

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

Salem: I don't really care who leaves, tonight. There's no way Suzy's making it past the first couple rounds. And either way, I still get to feed….im-implying I'm going to drink the loser's blood. Did I make that clear enough?

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Rapheala gathered Suzy, Chesney, and Flora in the girls cabin.

"Thank you for meeting me here, ladies." Rapheala smiled.

"I really shouldn't even be gracing you with my presence." Suzy rolled her eyes.

Flora only snickered, still baked.

"Wh-what's going on? Why are we here?! Am I not safe?!" Chesney panicked.

"Basically, Chesney." Rapheala stated.

"Ohgodohgodohgod!" Chesney hyperventilated.

Flora looked at the dark skinned girl blankly. "Woah, man…"

"Well, to put this explanation in the most simplistic of terms, I have heard the names of all three of you in the past couple hours. Only a whisper or two of you, Chesney. But Flora and Suzy, your names are spreading quite exponentially." Rapheala explained.

"Choice…" Flora nodded.

"Wait. Are you telling me that I suck at this game?! I do fucking _not_ suck at this game!" Suzy snapped.

"Not so much that you're lacking per se. More like you've attracted quite a bit of negative attention for yourself." Rapheala replied.

"Psh! You're lying! I'm perfect and everyone loves me. Especially my boyfriend, Duncan. Hang on. I'll show you." Suzy pulled out her cell phone and dialed a number, soon, a gruff voice answered.

"Hello?" The voice said.

"Hi, Duncan! It's your girlfriend, Suzy~" Suzy said cheerily.

"Oh god, not you again!" Duncan cursed. "I told you to fucking stop calling this number!" With that, the man hung up.

"He's just being himself. He just hides how much he loves me." Suzy giggled.

"How did you get Duncan's number?" Chesney questioned.

"Well, I-"

"Excuse me." Rapheala interrupted the girls.

"What, cow?" Suzy frowned.

Rapheala inhaled, then exhaled. "I'm willing to make a deal with you. I've also heard Garrett's name quite a bit as well, so if we band together, along with spreading his name around, we can-"

"Yeah, I'm gonna stop you right there." Suzy scoffed. "I'm voting for you tonight. One: Because you said I suck at this game. Two: Because you cut me off. Me! And three: You're a jealous, fat little know it all. I'll get everyone to vote for you and you'll be out of here. You'll see." With that, Suzy stormed out of the cabin.

"So…" Rapheala continued. "Do the two of you concur with eliminating Garrett?"

"Of course! I've heard his name a lot!" Chesney nodded.

"Garrett's chi is so….like...not cool, man. I'm down." Flora snickered.

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

Rapheala: This was actually an experiment I needed to test. Garrett is a contender to lose, yes. But I have been hearing Flora and Suzy much much more. And whichever one didn't agree with me would get my vote to be eliminated. It appears that that individual is Suzy.

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

Chesney: Good. Flora and Rapheala want Garrett gone, too. Prince Wulfric's plan is working!

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Out on an old playground in the clearing, Luke, Moonclaw, and Kari were all sitting together.

"Alright. So I saw Lance and his villainous cronies walking into the woods." Luke explained.

"And?" Moonclaw said.

"Yeah, why did you bring us here?" Kari ask, scared. "Th-this old thing is a death trap for someone like me…"

"Because." Luke began. "Lance wants to form a villain alliance, I say we combat that with our heroism!"

"Ooh fun!" Moonclaw cackled.

"Oh my… Y-you think I'm a hero?" Kari couldn't help but smile.

"You two seem like the most heroic contestants here." Luke smiled. "Moonclaw, with your superhero name and appearance."

"AOooOoooOO!" Moonclaw howled.

"And Kari. From what I've seen, you're sweet as honey. Which is a good positive force this group needs." Luke beamed.

"O-o-oh...um...uh.." Kari blushed uncontrollably.

"What's our hero team name?" Moonclaw asked.

"Ooh! I know!" Luke said. "The Ultra Good Friends! Nice ring, right?"

"I like it." Kari smiled.

"Eh. It's okay." Moonclaw shrugged.

"Well. Our first order of hero business. To defeat the evil Suzy and her gloating ways!" Luke shouted.

"Fine by me. Can't wait to tear her apart! Hehehehe!" Moonclaw chuckled.

"Th-that's horrifying!" Kari trembled.

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

Luke: We'll see how that dastardly fiend, Lance fares against the Ultra Good Friends! Ooh! A big play fight in the field would be a lot of fun. I really doubt any of us Ultra Good friends or Lance's group of villains are leaving tonight, so I totally have to ask him, tomorrow!

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Moonclaw: There we go. A heroes alliance. This should be fun! Hehehe!

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

Kari: Luke is really nice. I can't believe he sees me as a hero. (Kari blushed and smiled)

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

"Campers!" Damian shouted over the PA system. "Please meet me at the campfire in the middle of the grounds for your elimination ceremony!"

The twenty two contestants all sat on lawn chairs around a roaring fire, Damian at a podium.

"Welcome, campers. To your first elimination ceremony. Here. One of you will not even be making the team phase of this game. Like our first season, Total Drama Island, the symbols of immunity are once again marshmallows. And, if you're voted out, you must endure a bumpy busride to your destination in the Bus of Losers!" Damian pointed at a beat up bus with Chef at the wheel. "Now. This vote was messy. But not nearly as much as I thought it would be. Our first marshmallow goes to our individual immunity winner, Jack!"

Jack caught his marshmallow.

"May!"

"Stratbot!"

"Jynxie!"

"Salem!"

"Tara!"

"Luke!"

"Kari!"

"Richy!"

"Winona!"

"Brock!"

"Chesney!"

"Dude!"

"Xena!"

"Lance!"

"Diana!"

"Moonclaw!"

"Now...the five of you have received at least one vote." Damian said. "Whether it was your vain attitude, challenge skill and poor social skills, poor challenge skill and awful social skills, or other peoples' vain attitudes."

Suzy looked shocked, Garrett looked angry, Flora kept a blank, dazed expression, both Rapheala and Wulfric didn't look surprised, but also didn't look confident.

"Although." Damian continued. "Two of you only got one vote. And those people are Rapheala and Wulfric."

The genius girl and prince caught their marshmallows.

"Next person safe…"

...

…

...

…

...

…

...

…

...

… Garrett.

"That's what I thought." Garrett grunted, catching his marshmallow.

"Flora. Suzy. One of your two will be leaving this game without a team. And that person is…"

...

…

...

…

...

…

...

…

...

…

...

…

...

…

...

…

...

…

...

…Flora."

"Ha! Yes! I did it!" Suzy cheered.

"Aw, dude." Dude lamented.

"Oh, that happened. That harshes my mellow, man…" Flora groaned. "But whatever. I guess that's my place in the universe." The hippie girl walked over to Dude. "I can sense your chi, man. It's strong. Harness it."

Dude gave a thumbs up. "Ch'yah."

Richy looked at Dude suspiciously.

Flora got into the Bus of Losers and Hatchet drove the hippie away from the Hanwi campground.

"Alright, campers." Damian said. "Get some sleep. We'll give you your teams tomorrow. The host then turned to another camera. "And Flora is our pre-team fall. I guess she was just a bit too chill for this game. What drama will ensue when we split our remaining twenty one campers into their three teams tomorrow? Find out next time. On Total. Drama. Cabin Fever!"

* * *

Votes:

Brock- Flora

Chesney- Garrett

Diana- Suzy

Dude- Suzy

Flora- Garrett

Garrett- Flora

Jack- Flora

Jynxie- Flora

Kari- Suzy

Lance- Flora

Luke- Flora

May- Garrett

Moonclaw- Suzy

Rapheala- Suzy

Richy- Flora

Salem- Suzy

Stratbot- Flora

Suzy- Rapheala

Tara- Flora

Winona- Flora

Wulfric- Garrett

Xena- Wulfric

11 Flora, 6 Suzy, 3 Garrett, 1 Rapheala, 1 Wulfric

* * *

And there goes Flora. The season's first boot. Frankly, I'm surprised by how popular she was. Her whole purpose was to be a jokey first boot and to add a dose of actually hippies in Total Drama. Because, whether it's canon or fanmade, hippies are always treated as positive godsends. So I felt that a toneless, pot smoking spacehead would spice it up a bit. Sorry those that liked her. For what it's worth, she was fun to write.


	3. Ep3- Canoe Not?

"Last time on Total Drama Cabin Fever!" Damian said on the dirt road for the recap. "Our twenty two brand new campers were given a fun little twist. A first round merge! All twenty two competed in an individual immunity race, with quite a few hazards along the way. The immunity winner was Jack, followed by a surprisingly coordinated vote, causing the slow, constantly stoned hippie, Flora to take the fall as this season's first boot. Today, we'll be splitting our campers into three teams of seven and another will be sent home. Who will that be? Find out now. On Total. Drama. Cabin Fever!"

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Richy: Well, with no teams being formed, yet. I don't really think there's any place for strategy right now. Which means. Time to set up the social game.

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Richy walked up to Rapheala, who was going over notes in a small notebook.

"Hello there." Richy smiled.

"Greetings." Rapheala replied. "How are you, this morning...um...I apologize, I can't seem to recollect your name."

"The name is Richy." Richy grinned. "What do you have there?"

"Well, to be completely honest, I am surveying notes that I have taken in preparation for this competition. I began as soon as I received my letter of acceptance." Rapheala explained.

"Ooh, you like reality tv, too?" Richy asked.

"Well, I have no personal qualms with it." Rapheala stated. "But I don't actively watch it compared to other programming. I mostly watch documentaries."

"Then why did you join this show?" Richy wondered.

"Isn't it simple? The monetary prize of course. I'm well aware of how much money one accumulates through winning this competition. And I know brains are a key factor to winning. I have a multitude of scholarships for a handful of universities, but a completely money free ride to college would be most satisfactory." Rapheala explained.

"Understandable. My folks and I could always use more money. My family's restaurant could always use more maintenance." Richy admitted.

"You're family operates an eating establishment? What sort of food does it contain? What is the theme?" Rapheala pondered.

"Mostly New England stuff. So a lot of seafood." Richy said. "The theme is a standard sports bar and reality tv." Richy continued.

"Your family seems to quite enjoy reality television." Rapheala noticed.

"We love it. That's half the reason I'm on this show. I've always wanted to be on Total Drama. So I've got years of all that studying you've been doing up here." Richy pointed to his head.

"Then I suppose you will be a rather worthy adversary." Rapheala smirked.

"I'd like to think so." Richy smirked.

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Rapheala: Richy could certainly be an individual to be cautious about if he knows how reality television works inside and out. I will be sure to outwit him in this competition.

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Garrett and Diana sat up in the clearing, laying in the grass.

"Ain't this relaxin'?" Diana asked.

"It really is." Garrett replied. "Especially since ah can't hear any of them loud mouthed idiots anywhere."

"Now why do ya gotta be like that?" Diana wondered.

"Ah'm just annoyed by people like that. Ah live just outside the city. So when my pa and I go into town to pick up shit like groceries or stuff fer the car, we always run into these little fruity motherfuckers spoutin' dumb shit." Garrett explained.

"Maybe ya should lighten up, ya know? It'd make yer life easier." Diana suggested.

"Life ain't easy." Garrett scoffed.

"Ah'm tryna have a relaxin', easy summer. So ah don't know." Diana shrugged.

"Then why th' fuck'd ya sign up fer Total Drama?" Garrett asked.

"Ah could always use some money." Diana replied.

"Pfft. Yer criss-crossed." Garret chuckled.

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Diana: Is it really bad that I wanna try and win this game, but still relax? That doesn't sound too hard, I reckon.

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Garrett: Diana's kind of a fool about this game. If she's gonna win like she says, she actually hasta play the fuckin' thing. I wanna help her. She's one of the few non-freaks here. But she's gonna hafta be less stupid and chill.

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Luke jumped around through the old playground, Kari sitting on the ground adjacent to it.

"A-are you sure you should be doing that?" Kari asked, concerned.

"Why? Am I too old for a playground?" Luke chuckled. "It's called hero's training. Besides, being an adult is no fun." Luke continued to swing through the rickety structure.

"No, i-it's not that…." Kari mumbled. "But aren't you scared that you're gonna g-get hurt?"

"Not really." Luke was hanging upside down from monkey bars. "Why?"

"I just don't want you to get hurt...o-or get me hurt." Kari squeaked.

"What makes you say that?" Luke asked, jumping onto another part of the playground, causing it to shake. A bar then shook loose and landed on Kari's head.

"Like that…" Kari whimpered.

"Oh no! What was that? Did some evil force do this?" Luke looked up.

"N-no. I kinda just think the universe hates me…" Kari mumbled.

"Nonsense!" Luke smiled. "You're part of the Ultra Good Friends. The greatest trio of heroes in the universe! Don't worry, I'll help you out." Luke smiled.

Kari only giggled and blushed.

"You, okay?" Luke asked.

"O-oh! Um, um. Yes. It's just hot out…" Kari stammered.

"Well, you are wearing a turtleneck in June." Luke chuckled.

"I guess…" Kari looked away nervously.

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Kari: Luke is, um...um…(Kari blushed) He's kind of excitable. B-but he's so nice to me...I-I like him.

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Luke: I'm confident that Kari's bad luck won't slow the Ultra Good Friends down. We shall defeat evil with our power of friendship and justice! Speaking of which. Where is Moonclaw?

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Salem and Moonclaw chatted on the lakeside, as Moonclaw tried to catch with with only his mouth and hands.

"So. Explain what you're trying to do here." Salem looked confused.

"I'm trying to catch fish. You know, for food. I'm not doing to be fed. I'm a lone wolf! Raised in the wild!" Moonclaw growled as he stuck his head in the water.

"I mean, I mainly live off of blood." Salem chuckled. "But, since I can't really go out and feed often, I'll eat this mortal food to keep myself from starving."

"Well, if I catch a fish, you can drink its blood." Moonclaw smiled wildly.

"Do fish even have blood?" Salem wondered.

"What the hell kind of animals do you feed from?" Moonclaw asked.

"Not fish. Fish are gross." Salem replied.

Suddenly, from the bushes, Chesney began to scream. "Help! Help! Someone help me!" She shouted.

Salem and Moonclaw looked at each other, then the bush and decided to walk over.

"Uh, do you need help?" Moonclaw asked as he saw Chesney fake-writhing on the ground. "Ooh wait! Salem! Drink her blood!"

"W-wait, what?!" Salem looked nervous.

"Oh, help! Help!" Chesney shouted, moving her hair away and deliberately exposing her neck.

"What's even the problem?" Moonclaw asked.

"I fell and I need someone big, strong, and monstrous to save me!" Chesney shouted.

"You look fine to me." Salem raised an eyebrow, confused. "This is why I won't drink her blood. I only to that to unconscious humans. She could punch me!"

"Is that all it takes?" Moonclaw chuckled.

Salem pouted, embarrassed.

"Hello! I'm in need of saving!" Chesney wailed.

"Should we help her?" Moonclaw turned to Salem.

The vampire boy looked weirded out. "I, uh, I honestly don't know. Vampires aren't ones to help mortals. We kind of just do a 'kick them while they're down' thing." Salem then hissed with a goofy grin.

"Let's just go catch more fish. See if they actually have blood." Moonclaw grinned.

"Okay. Don't expect me to drink it." Salem cringed.

Chesney looked at the two walk off, disappointed.

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Chesney: What was that? I thought this would happen exactly like in my romance novel. A girl has to choose between two hot boys that are also hot versions of tradition movie monsters. Yes, Wulfric is also on my list. But now I have three boys to choose from! The prince, the vampire, or the wolf boy. This is my dream come true!

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Salem: Moonclaw is a ton of fun. Maybe, since I can control wolves, I can have him be my animal minion! Hahaha! But Chesney...nono. She's uh...she's something…

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Moonclaw: (Moonclaw held a fish in his hand) Chesney has the hots for me? What the hell? She wants to do an animal? (Moonclaw took a large bite out of the fish) What a weirdo.

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Suzy was relaxing in the sunlight, Wulfric fanning her, a scowl on his face.

"This is humiliating." Wulfric grumbled quietly. "She should be the one fanning me."

"Faster, princey. I'm starting to sweat." Suzy demanded.

"You know, for my services, you must vote with me, right?" Wulfric growled.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. We'll see." Suzy smirked.

"No. You will." Wulfric dropped the fan.

"It's always 'me me me' with you. Quit being such a brat. If you quit whining and keep fanning, I'll vote with you. Happy?" Suzy snapped.

Wulfric gritted his teeth in disgust and anger as he continued fanning. "You realize I'm royalty, right?"

"I know. But I'm obviously better than royalty. So keep fanning." Suzy scoffed.

"In what possible way do you surpass royalty?" Wulfric hissed.

"Um, well, I have you, a prince waiting on me hand and foot, so…" Suzy boasted.

Wulfric looked at the camera and frowned.

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Wulfric: This is absolutely degrading. But she's too much of good tool to pass up. She could be a free vote, fodder to keep a target off my back, and a possible easy finale win. There's no way I can be rid of her. Even if she is the greatest nuisance this world has ever seen…

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Suzy: Well, it's good to see that Wulfric finally knows the pecking order around here. And I'm not adhering to his dumb rule. I don't need to listen to him.

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Jack and Winona were out by the dirt road, tossing a football back and forth.

"Damn, you've got an arm!" Jack said, catching the ball.

"Heh, thanks. Although I'm more of a leg person, though. Here. Put the ball down." Winona said, readying herself.

Jack stood the ball up and held onto it with a single finger. Winona charged at the ball kicked it as hard as she could. The pigskin was sent soaring into the air, until it whacked a passing seagull, sending it and the ball plummeting.

"Whoa. You're good." Jack grinned. "What school did you say you were from?"

"I'm from Ridgegrove High. I've been a fighting Wasp for just about every sport." Winona said triumphantly.

"Where is that?" Jack asked.

"Well, I'm from Manitoba. What about you?" Winona asked.

"I'm actually from Minnesota. Oreville High! I was a proud Cavalier." Jack smiled.

"Oh, you're American. Do you watch a lot of football?" Winona looked excited.

"I don't really watch sports. I only play them. Although, I did go to a baseball game and I met Joe Mauer. I think I was ten." Jack said.

"Joe Mauer?! Like, Minnesota Twins Joe Mauer?!" Winona beamed.

"Yeah, we got this deluxe VIP thing so we got to meet him after the game." Jack smiled.

"Whoa! How rich are you?!" Winona gasped.

"Not, like, filthy rich. My dad blew a ton of money on those tickets." Jack explained.

"Alright, whatever. But what about Mauer? Was he nice? How sweaty was he? Which game was it, his performance in that game will determine his mood when meeting you, I'm sure!" Winona said excitedly.

"Whoa slow down." Jack chuckled. "I don't remember who they were playing. As for Mauer himself, he seems pretty cool. I remember he signed my hat and shook my hand."

"You are so lucky, oh my god!" Winona smiled.

"I'm kinda surprised you even follow American sports." Jack raised an eyebrow.

"You're kidding right? I love sports from all over!" Winona replied.

"Yeah, I can tell." Jack chuckled.

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Winona: I'm sure I weirded out Jack. But I don't know why. He's an athlete, too.

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Jack: Or was it Torii Hunter I met? You know, before he left, and then came back. Eh, whatever. It kept Winona entertained. She seems nice. Definitely would've fit in as a Cavalier.

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Brock sat with Jynxie and Stratbot by Brock's motorcycle. Stratbot and Jynxie were drinking a clear carbonated liquid.

"So. What's the plan today, Stratbot?" Jynxie asked.

"Shhshhshh…" Stratbot hushed the punk girl. "There's no need to plan right now. We must await our teams, first." The robot's volume turned to a whisper. "Plus we mustn't let Brock know of our alliance."

"Oh! Got it!" Jynxie grinned, taking another swig.

"What are you guys even drinking?" Brock asked. "And why are you sitting by my bike?"

"These are wine coolers." Stratbot explained.

"We stole them! Hehehe!" Jynxie cackled.

"They let you guys have alcohol? Wait. How can the robot even drink it?" Brock looked confused.

"Alcohol is actually a key component in the coolant that cycles through my system." Stratbot explained. "So drinking alcohol is actually extremely helpful."

"And I just don't care." Jynxie laughed. "I'm also here because I wanna drive your motorcycle!"

"Ohohohohohoho noooo… I'll give you a ride, but you are not driving this el babyo. Especially since you've been drinking. No servaysah por la motorcyco" Brock said. "I love this bike more than I love myself. And I think I'm a pretty great guy."

"I'm not even drunk, jeez." Jynxie replied. "These things have, like, no fucking alcohol, calm your face." Jynxie then threw the bottle at a tree, shattering it. "WOOHOO!"

"Maybe you should calm down a bit, Jynxie." Stratbot advised.

"Aw, why? That's no fun!" Jynxie giggled.

"Uh...well, um...hm…" Stratbot swigged more of his beverage.

"So, like, as a robot, do you have infinite intelligence?" Brock asked.

"Not exactly. My databanks-"

"Ooh, storytime!" Jynxie sat down, really close to Stratbot.

Stratbot looked at the punk girl awkwardly. "W-well, my databanks in every aspect of human form in survival and competition are based around past Total Drama contestants. My intelligence level is that of Noah. My social skill is that of Owen. Strategy is of Alejandro-level brilliance. And challenge strength is that of DJ."

"So. What you're saying is...you're perfecto?" Brock asked.

"He really is!" Jynxie grinned.

"Well, I wouldn't say that. My CPU is mainly 99% human. And every human has their flaws." Stratbot explained.

"Hm...seems legit, I guess. You really are an el magnificdores piece of machinery." Brock complimented.

"Isn't he?" Jynxie looked up at the robot and winked.

Stratbot looked a bit uncomfortable at all of the attention he was getting.

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Brock: I'm not gay for the robot. (Brock laughed) I just know what good machines look like. And he's, like, a human harley. I still wanna know where they got booze, though. Wine coolers are good.

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Dude was tied to a propped up table as Tara mixed two liquids in a jar, Lance standing beside her and a table of different powders, juices, and elixirs.

"Lance. The green liquid. Now." Tara demanded.

Lance quickly handed the girl a vial of bright green liquid. "So, Tara...um, what diabolical use does this potion have?"

"You'll see in just a second." Tara grinned maliciously as she added the green fluid to her jar mixture. She stirred it lightly, removed Dude's hat, and poured a small amount over the frat boy's hair. Soon, Dude's long shaggy hair turned into a giant afro.

"Woooaahh! Dude!" Dude said with a smile.

"That was it?" Lance looked disappointed. "Surely you must-"

"Patience, child. Patience." Tara snickered as she mixed together another mixture.

"Of course…" Lance blushed and looked down.

Tara finished a new liquid and poured a small amount onto Dude's new afro. Soon, it appeared to have burst into flames.

"Ahhh! Ah! Dude! Dude!" Dude screamed.

"Haha! Yes! Hair combustion! Pure evil!" Lance cackled.

After he stopped flailing, Dude realized that his hair wasn't actually on fire.

"W-wait…" Lance said "What's going on? Shouldn't he be screaming?"

"That's just what this potion does. That's just his hair. Watch." Tara grinned.

Soon, the 'flames' subsided and Dude's hair returned to his normal shaggy mane. "Woooahhh!" Dude exclaimed.

"And now, we shall try it a bit differently." Tara smirked as she poured a bit of the first liquid onto Dude's face. Soon, a thick handlebar mustache grew on the boy's upper lip.

"Ch'ya bro!" Dude said in excitement.

"And now, Lance?" Tara said wickedly.

"Oh, I can? Alright! Mwahahahaha!" Lance cackled as he poured the second liquid onto Dude's mustache, causing it to turn into a wild, flowing, red and orange mess before disappearing.

"Aw…" Dude sighed.

Lance snickered. "Good job, minion. At least we caused someone disappointment."

Tara looked up at the white haired boy. "Of course…" She rolled her eyes a bit before undoing Dude's restraints. "You're free to go."

Dude attempted to grab the potion Tara held, but she pulled it away. "No!"

"So, is that all of your potions? Just stuff like that?" Lance asked. "I thought we were dabbling in the arcane and dark arts!"

"In time, Lance. In time. But thank you for helping." Tara grinned.

"O-oh...you're, uh, welcome…" Lance stammered.

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Tara: It's manipulation 101. Lance sees me as his pawn, so why not let him indulge in his little fantasy for a bit? That will keep him oblivious and emotionally restrained. I mean, he helped me out and he still thinks he's calling the shots. He's already deep deep into the rabbit hole. (Tara snickered)

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Lance: I really hope some of Tara's other potions do more harm than that. (Lance scoffed) But I was right to choose her and assist her with her experiments. With her magic, my brains, and Stratbot's robot strength, the Legion of Evil will dominate this game! Plus, it was a good excuse to spend time with Tara...Hehe..

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Dude: (Dude rubbed his upper lip and frowned at the loss of his mustache) Aw…

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Xena and May were watching a Japanese cartoon from inside the cabin.

"I always bring a small tv, DVD player, and a lot of anime whenever I go somewhere for a while. But isn't this show great?" May smiled.

"Uh, yeah. A genderfluid protagonist? I'm so on board. It doesn't help that they're hella cute, too!" Xena squealed. "Oh, yeah, speaking of that, please use 'they' pronouns, today."

"No problem at all!" May beamed. "Ooh, this is my favorite part! The brothers almost kiss!"

"Bruh. Bruh. This anime is so fucking great, bruh!" Xena shouted.

"I just knew you'd love it!" May replied.

"Yeah.. Do you think we'll be on the same team, together?" Xena asked.

"I don't know. Why?" May wondered.

"Because you're the person I can stand the most. Not only are you woman of color, but you're also extremely LGBT friendly and I can be weeb trash around you." Xena explained.

"Aw you're nice." May replied, flattered. "Oh hey! Have you ever seen Shotgun Trial?"

"Ooh, some of it! Is that the one with the genderqueer little kid and the gay cultist?" Xena said,excited.

"Yeah, that one! The one with all the death!" May beamed.

"Yo, let's watch it! Turn that shit on!" Xena smiled.

May popped out the DVD she had in from the player and inserted another.

"Trust me. You think this show is great so far. You'll love it!" May grinned. "It's one of my favorites."

"Attention, campers!" Damian said over the loudspeaker. "It's time for your challenge, and the formation of your teams! Please meet me at the beach!"

"Aw…" May said in defeat.

"Stupid men ruining everything." Xena grumbled. "We can watch it tonight, right?"

"Of course. Now let's go. Time's a-wastin'!" May giggled.

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May: Xena is actually really nice when they're not around people they 'disapprove' of or whatever. It's gonna be so much fun showing them anime all summer!

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Xena: May is great. I wonder if she has a Rollr. We'll need to stay in touch after the game. I mean. After I kick these cispigs into the dirt and win, of course. (Xena grinned)

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

The twenty one campers met with Damian on the beach.

"Alrighty, campers." Damian began. "It's time to organize your teams. Chef?"

Chef Hatchet began to read from a piece of paper. "Chesney, Dude, Jack, Richy, Suzy, Wulfric, Xena. Get'cha butts over here!"

The seven campers stepped forward. Dude looked around with a smile, Chesney looked with Wulfric with a nervous smile, Jack and Richy high fived, Suzy didn't seem to care and filed her nails, but Wulfric and Xena glared at each other.

"Ugh. Are you seriously putting me on a team with _him_?" Wulfric groaned.

"Excuse me! Fucking excuse me!" Xena shouted.

"What? Aren't you gender-gay or some ridiculous nonsense such as that?" Wulfric spat.

"I'm genderfluid, you bigoted prick! And I don't go by male pronouns! Do you know how damaging misgendering someone is?!" Xena began to hyperventilate.

"Oh, I'm so scared." Wulfric scoffed.

"How would you like it if I misgendered you?!" Xena snapped.

"Go ahead. I really don't care…" Wulfric rolled his eyes.

"Urgh. Fine. Damian. Are you sure there's any way you can't have _her_ be on a different team?" Xena hissed.

"Oh boy. This is gonna be fun." Jack groaned.

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Wulfric: Fine. Xena wants to play that game. I'll make sure he leaves early…

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Xena: Ugh! Not only am I stuck with a bunch of cis white men, but I'm also stuck with Wulfric! She's insufferable!

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Jack: I just hope we at least stay united in challenges, or else I'm sure we'll be seeing that campfire an awful lot. I feel like, besides Richy and probably Dude, I got literally the worst assortment. I wish Brock and Winona were on my team.

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Richy: This is absolutely perfect! With all of this bickering, Suzy's attitude and how crazy Chesney is, Jack and I can hide behind this and get an easy ride straight to the merge. Plus I'm glad I'm on a team with Dude...something seems...off about him. Maybe it's just game-start jitters.

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Chesney: I don't know what Xena hates about Wulfric. She must be jealous or something. Obviously.

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Suzy: Pfft. Whatever. I'll be leading this team soon enough…

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Dude: Duuude… (Dude gave a thumbs up)

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

"The seven of you are…" Damian began. "Aazhikwe Memookiwidoo! Which is Ojibwe for-"

"The Screaming Gophers." Jack chuckled.

"Yo, of course you knew that Jack! Classic." Brock grinned.

"Uh, I'm also Ojibwe." Jack replied.

"Oh. Right." Brock chuckled awkwardly.

"Brock, Diana, Garrett, Jynxie, May, Salem, and Stratbot!" Hatchet shouted.

The seven stepped forward. Diana tipped her hat to Garrett, who smirked in return.

"We're on the same team, Stratbot!" Jynxie shouted, hugging the robot.

"Yes. That we are. Wonderful!" Stratbot replied.

"Sweet! I got a robot and a vampire on my team!" Brock exclaimed.

"I know right?" May replied. "This stuff practically writes itself!"

Salem menacingly eyed his team, before he locked eyes with Garrett. The large southern man glared at Salem, causing the vampire boy to cower.

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Jynxie: This is awesome! Now I can keep trying to make Stratbot all mine!

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Stratbot: While it is most unfortunate that I am not sharing a team with a majority of my allies, I am glad that I have my closest one by my side.

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Garrett: Ah, oh well. I hafta deal with freaks. But I got the motor kid and Diana. They're tolerable.

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Diana: My team seems mighty fine if ya ask me. Garrett and that there robot are a shoo-in ta get us some challenge wins.

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Brock: Scratch that. A robot, a vampire, and my redneck alliancemate. This team rocks!

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May: Hm. I haven't really talked to anyone on this team. Oh well. Maybe some of them have some interests I do. I really bet the punk girl would love J-Pop.

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Salem: ...Garrett scares me…

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

"From here on out, you seven are known as…" Damian announced. "Naniizaanad Ashigan! Which is-"

"Come on, Damian." Jack chuckled. "Really?"

"Oh? Then what is it, smarty?" Damian asked.

"The Killer Bass." Jack said matter-of-factly.

"Okay yeah, you got me." Damian replied.

"Alright! Kari, Lance, Luke, Moonclaw, Rapheala, Tara, Winona! Y'all are the last team!" Hatchet shouted.

Luke wrapped his arms around Moonclaw and Kari. Tara and Rapheala each raised an eyebrow. Lance scowled at the trio.

"You alright?" Winona asked Lance.

"No. I'm on the same team as that hero scum…" Lance groaned.

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Luke: This is great! The Ultra Good Friends are all together on one big team. Plus, Lance and Tara are here too, so we can keep playing! Ooh, this is gonna be fun!

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Lance: Feh! I don't need to deal with this bullshit. I still have Tara. And I'm sure we can rope in the fat chick with curly hair and the bimbo in pigtails. That's all I really have right now since Richy and Stratbot are on different teams.

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Kari: Th-the witch is on my team? O-oh no...At least, well...Moonclaw and L-Luke are, too…

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Rapheala: It appears that already appear to be in a rather rough spot on the team. It is more than obvious that there is an alliance constructed of Kari, Luke, and Moonclaw, whilst Lance and Tara are also a duo. I will have to form an alliance with Winona to at least even the odds and keep ends tight, while also talking amongst the team. Hopefully this shall keep me firmly planted in the middle.

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Moonclaw: Hey, look at that! My whole alliance is on my team! This is awesome! Rawr!

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Tara: Good. This also keeps Lance away from Richy and Stratbot. I do need some numbers, though. I doubt it will be difficult at all to at least manipulate the girl in the pigtails. I'm sure I just need to show her some magic tricks and she'll obey my every command.

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Winona: Not the most athletic bunch from what I can tell. Ah well, I'm used to carrying teams. Looks like I'm gonna be a challenge sherpa. That should be fun.

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"The seven of you, as our final team are known as…" Damian said. "Wanaanimizi Esiban! Which means...you know what. You just say it, Jack…"

"You guys are the Deadly Raccoons!" Jack smirked.

"Okay! Now for your challenge." Damian began. "You'll all get into your team's canoe and canoe to the other side of the campsite across the lake. Once there, grab a shovel and start digging along the beach. Your goal is to find a gopher, bass, or raccoon idol, depending on your team. The first two teams to bring their idol here wins immunity. Third place will be sending someone home. Alright, so get paddling!"

"Onward, Ultra Good Friends!" Luke shouted. "We shall win this challenge for justice!"

Kari continued to paddle, only to have her oar covered in leeches, who then jumped on the small ginger girl.

"Does that...does that even happen?" Moonclaw looked confused.

"Gasp!" Luke shouted. "I'll save you, Kari!" The hero boy began to pluck leeches off of Kari, as she wept in fear.

"Come on guys. Quit dawdling." Winona said firmly. "We can do this!"

"There's kind of a leech situation, here." Moonclaw shrugged. "Meaning, leeches can somehow jump."

"Don't worry! It's all under control!" Luke said nervously as he continued to pluck leeches off of Kari and toss them into the lake.

"Winona. Disregard their squabble. We still are going at a firm pace and we only need second place to not face elimination." Rapheala pointed out.

Tara took out a small glass vial of a black powder and sprinkled it behind the boat, towards the Ashigan boat.

"What evil concoction would that be?" Lance grinned.

"Oh, just a little something fun when added to water." Tara grinned. "Immunity is already in our hands…"

"Excellent! Hahahaha!" Lance began to cackle. Luke was yanking a large leech off of Kari's face. As its grip ceased, it slipped out of Luke's hands and landed right on Lance's forehead. "Gahhh! Get it off! Get it off, damn you!" Lance shouted.

"Calm down." Tara groaned, plucking the leech from the boy's forehead and putting it in a jar.

"Why didn't you simply send the creature back into the water?" Rapheala asked.

"Shut up, that's why." Tara hissed.

Winona looked worried as she kept paddling.

"Like I previously stated." Raphela said. "Have confidence."

"Yeah! C'mon, Winona! We're so gonna win this! AOOOOO!" Moonclaw howled.

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Tara: Hehehehe… I can't wait to see how the mixture affects the Bass boat…

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Winona: I'm not super competitive. I just kinda don't want to lose the very first challenge. Especially since I feel like I'm in the outs.

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Kari: I-I-I don't like leeches….

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The pace of the Memookiwidoo boat wasn't as fast. Richy, Jack, and Wulfric paddled briskly. Dude leisurely paddled. Chesney and Xena were already tired. And Suzy refused to paddle.

"Why aren't you paddling?" Richy asked Suzy.

"Do I need to? I don't think so." Suzy sneered.

"Well, this is a team effort." Jack pointed out.

"Yeah. And I'm the leader. Ergo. I don't have to do anything. So shut it." Suzy.

Jack scowled.

"Oh, classic white people." Xena rolled her eyes.

"Oh dear god, here we go…" Wulfric groaned.

Dude simply looked at a butterfly floating by, ignoring the argument.

"What does that mean, bad hair day?" Suzy hissed.

"You think, just because you're white, you can rule over everyone else." Xena spat.

"Not even. Get over yourself. I'm in charge because I'm the greatest. I'm surprised you haven't caught on, by now." Suzy scoffed.

"I-I actually think Wulfric should be the leader! He's a prince, afterall." Chesney sighed dreamily. Wulfric grinned in response to the girl's statement.

"This is working out perfectly." Richy whispered to Jack.

"Why?" Jack asked.

"Look at this chaos. A chaotic team means that those not a part of it can make it through." Richy explained.

"I mean, you're not wrong. But I'm more of a unity guy. School pride. Team pride. Family pride. Gay pride." Jack chuckled.

"Wait, you're gay?" Richy asked.

"No no." Jack laughed.

"Well, I recommend not getting involved, it'll just fan the flames." Richy said.

"Wow. Okay. I see how it is. You're jealous." Suzy snapped at Xena.

"He really is." Wulfric snickered.

"Will you just shut up? You privileged pieces of shit…" Xena began to cry.

"Are you alright, prince Wulfric? Are you okay, at all?" Chesney asked.

"Why wouldn't I be? Nothing this little boy says hurts my self-esteem…" Wulfric sneered.

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Xena: (Xena was hyperventilating) They're so awful! Awful! Awful!

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Suzy: All this drama is taking the focus away from me. What the fuck?

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Richy: Bam. Nobody has even bothered Jack and I.

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Dude: Dude… (Dude looked uncomfortable)

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The Ashigan boat went at a decent pace. Garrett, Jynxie, Brock and Stratbot caused the boat to travel rather quickly. However, they still trailed behind the Esiban boat.

"Why are we goin' so damn slow?" Garrett grunted. He turned behind him to see Diana paddling laxly, while Salem and May were frantically paddling, with little progress. "Diana! Ya gotta hurry!" The cowboy snapped. "You two freaks calm down!"

Salem winced and changed his pace. May looked confused.

"Wait. Am I a freak?" May asked.

"Considerin' ya look like a porno chick, yeah." Garrett rolled his eyes.

"How rude." May pouted as she kept paddling, but now at the same pace as Salem.

"This is pretty chill." Brock said to Diana. "Not a cloud in the sky, nice breeze. Been awhile since I when on a non-motor boat."

"It's darn near perfect." Diana smiled. "I think we'll be able ta take it easy and still win this."

"I wouldn't recommend that, Diana." Stratbot chimed in. "We must work hard to achieve victory. Especially since, this early in the game, the team's weak links are most often the first ones cut."

Diana shrugged. "I suppose I can't argue with that." Diana smiled continued paddling.

"Aren't you worried, Stratbot?" Jynxie asked.

"Why would I be? We're going at a good pace, at least enough to not get last place." Stratbot said, as he dipped his oar back into the water, which was a darker tone than the rest. The robot pulled the oar back up and saw that it was dissolving. "Woah. Except that. Must be a high acidity lake…"

"No, I meant, won't you short circuit or some shit like that?" Jynxie asked.

Stratbot chuckled. "No. I will not. I'm waterproof."

"Ooh, can you float?!" Jynxie got excited.

"No. I cannot float." Stratbot replied.

Brock noticed that his oar was dissolving. "Yo, there's something wrong with this lake."

"Aw, shit." Garret griped. "Everyone paddle on the other side!"

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Jynxie: Stratbot is even cooler than I thought!

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Garrett: Obviously non'a these people fuckin' pay attention. I'll hafta carry that burden.

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May: I kinda see what Salem means. Garrett is kind of a douche. I mean, I'm not gonna let him hear it like crazy. But I kinda think we should vote him off if we lose.

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Soon, all three teams made it across to the other side of the island and began to dig.

"Ooh, Moonclaw. What are you doing?" Chesney said dreamily to Moonclaw, who was digging with his hands.

"I have no use for human tools." Moonclaw laughed.

"Oh, how interesting" Chesney sighed.

"Chesney. Focus." Wulfric said firmly.

"O-oh! Sorry, prince Wulfric!" Chesney stammered.

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Chesney: (Chesney sighed)

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Lance was digging and soon hit something. He grinned maliciously as he uncovered a wooden bass statue. He turned and raised it high. "Hey, Ashigan! Looking for this?!"

"Think you could give it to us?" May asked.

"...Have you met me?" Lance gave a twisted smirk and tossed it into the lake. "Mwahahaha!"

"Hey!" May shouted.

"What the fuck?!" Garrett shouted angrily.

"Ooh! Ooh! I'll go get it!" Jynxie shouted, taking her jacket and shirt off. Stratbot quickly turned, his screen giving off a reddish light.

"Good. Go get the statue. I'll pound this little fucker." Garrett growled, grabbing Lance by his cape and tossing him into the lake.

The white haired boy resurfaced, spitting out water. "Curse you, cowboy!"

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Garrett: Ugh. Fuckin' weirdo tryna wreck my team…

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Suzy simply leaned against her shovel as the rest of her team dug around her. "Oh, what's wrong?" Xena mocked. "Too scared of getting dirt on your expensive clothes? Or do you just get sick pleasure from watching non-whites do labor while you watch?"

"Uh, I haven't said a word to you. And you really shouldn't be speaking to me." Suzy hissed.

"You are just so...ugh!" Xena screamed.

"I am so glad I'm not on their team…" Tara groaned.

"Indeed. It just seems that they can't find a way to settle their debacle in a civil and scholarly manner…" Rapheala agreed.

"Idiots…" Tara groaned and continued digging, before hitting something. It turns out she uncovered the raccoon idol. "Oh hey." She snickered.

"Oh, wonderful." Rapheala smiled. "Let us make haste. Companions! Tara uncovered the artifact! It's time to claim immunity!"

"What?" Winona said, flinging a large chunk of sand, that hit Kari. "Oh my gosh! I'm sorry."

"I-it's okay…" Kari mumbled.

"Come on, Ultra Good Friends! Immunity awaits!" Luke jumped into the boat, followed by Kari, Moonclaw, Winona, and Lance. The team then began to paddle.

"I've been digging everywhere. I can't find our idol." Salem panicked. "I need to get out of the sun. I can feel myself getting weaker…"

"Jynxie is swimming for it, since it was thrown into the lake." Stratbot explained.

Meanwhile, Jynxie swam through the lake, in search of the idol. She managed to find it on the ground. As the punk girl tried to grab it, a small octopus also grabbed hold of it. Jynxie punched the cephalopod in the eye and quickly swam to the surface. "Got it! I fucking got it!" She shouted.

"Good, let's go!" Salem said worriedly as the team loaded into the boat and began paddling. They didn't move as fast, considering the state of Stratbot and Brock's oars.

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May: Well, we were slowed down a bit. But I'm confident we can still get immunity! Watashitachi wa chōdo shinjite imasu!~

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Diana: Would ya lookit that. This challenge has been pretty chill.

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Dude was digging and soon discovered the gopher idol. "Yooo!" He shouted, holding it up high.

"Ugh. Finally." Suzy griped.

"There we go, Dude!" Richy smiled.

The team began to load onto the boat.

"After you, sir." Wulfric grinned to Xena, who responded by kneeing him in the nads.

"Ladies first." Xena hissed as she got on the boat.

Esiban still took the lead, with Ashigan and Memookiwidoo slowly catching up, despite the handicaps of broken oars and Suzy not working.

"Say, Tara." Lance grinned. "How about we make our lead even larger?"

"You mean this?" Tara took out more black powder.

"Exactly! We think so alike, minion!" Lance swiped the powder from the pale woman and tossed it into the lake.

"Say. What is that substance that you're using for cheating?" Rapheala asked.

"It's magic." Tara hissed.

"But that's logical. Infact-"

Tara interrupted the chubby genius. "Magic…"

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Luke: Hm...Those two seemed to be cheating. I'll face them and defeat them tomorrow. Now that they've done more evil deeds, it'll be even more fun!

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Ashigan continued to gain speed, but soon approached the patch of dark water.

"Woah, woah! Turn! Turn!" Brock shouted.

"Why?" Diana asked.

"That black shit is what made my oar dissolve!" Brock replied.

Stratbot observed the dark water. "You know, I do remember the water being darker where my oar dissolved. Make a sharp turn in a 45 degree angle!"

The team turned abruptly and continued forward.

"Damn good call, Brock." Garrett smirked.

"Who even did that?" Salem wondered.

"I bet the black magic was the work of the witch." May said.

"This isn't a Japanese cartoon." Brock replied.

"Regardless, though. Doesn't she know magic?" May asked.

"Whatever. Let's just keep goin' and let that other team dissolve and get last place." Garrett said.

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Salem: Someone knows the dark arts, eh? I, as a vampire, must find out!

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Jynxie: This challenge is fucking wicked!

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Memookiwidoo strayed not too far behind, but certainly weren't going the fastest, due to Suzy not paddling.

"This is absolutely ridiculous…" Wulfric groaned.

"What's ridiculous is your constant whining." Suzy hissed.

"Both of you need to shut up…" Xena griped.

"Now, now guys." Richy intervened. "Let's not strangle each other he-why is the boat sinking? ...Jack, why is the boat sinking?"

"I don't know!" Jack shouted, trying to paddle, only to see that his paddle was dissolving. "Gah!"

Soon, the entire boat collapsed and team Memookiwidoo were stuck treading water.

"...Dude…" Dude said spacily.

Esiban and Ashigan however soon made it to shore.

"And tonight's challenge winners are Naniizaanad Ashigan and Wanaanimizi Esiban!" Damian announced.

This was met with the two teams cheering and celebrating.

"Memookiwidoo. I'll be seeing the seven of you at the campfire tonight." Damian continued. The waterlogged team looked disappointed or ticked off.

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Richy: Going to the first team elimination. That's embarrassing. (Richy chuckled.) But it also gives me the chance to work my magic. I mean come on. This vote is easy.

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Wulfric: Ohoho….Xena is gone… (Wulfric scowled)

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Xena met with Chesney, who was hyperventilating, by the girls cabin.

"Calm down, calm down. It's okay." Xena cooed.

"B-b-but!" Chesney stammered.

"I know. I'm stressed out, too. Especially after being misgendered like crazy by that douche, Wulfric. Which is why, as women of color, we can send that cis white male pig out of here." Xena smirked.

"W-wait, what?!" Chesney shouted. "You want to get rid of prince Wulfric?!"

"Of course. She's spreading her privilege everywhere! It's already given me three panic attacks! She needs to go!" Xena snapped.

"Uh..isn't Wulfric a man?" Chesney asked.

"If she's gonna misgender me. I'm gonna misgender her." Xena scoffed.

"W-well, I don't know… I kinda...like Wulfric."

"Don't give into the patriarchy!" Xena shouted. "She's raping you!"

"What?!" Chesney looked scared and confused.

"Duh! Wulfric is a straight, white, cisgendered man! All she wants is to fuck you!" Xena ranted.

"R-really?" Chesney blushed.

"Ugh." Xena looked fed up. "Just vote for Wulfric, okay?"

"I guess...I don't know…" Chesney looked uneasy.

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Chesney: I really don't know. I can't go against prince Wulfric like that! A-and if he really wants to...you know...wow! (Chesney fanned herself)

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Dude was eating a few hotdogs in the mess hall, when he was approached by Suzy.

"Hey, frat boy. We're voting for Jack." Suzy said quickly.

Dude looked confused, his mouth full.

"I know. Genius plan, right? There's only room for one perfect person on this team. Me. Jack is a total hottie. So I can't have him stealing the spotlight I deserve. So we're sending him home. Okay? Bye." With that, Suzy walked away. Dude looked at her, then the camera.

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Suzy: I'm such a genius.

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Dude: Dude?

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Jack and Richy sat in the boys cabin.

"See, now here's where we ride the chaos out." Richy began. "Xena and Wulfric will be targeting each other like crazy. So I say we sneak by and vote for Suzy."

"Yes. Yes please. Girls like her are nothing but trouble." Jack groaned.

"I'll talk to Xena. You talk to Dude. That should give us a healthy majority." Richy smiled.

"What about Wulfric and Chesney?" Jack asked.

"Wulfric and Suzy seem to be allies and Chesney is head over heels for Wulfric. So there's no convincing them." Richy explained.

"I suppose that makes sense. I'm sure I can convince Dude. I click with guys like him." Jack smirked.

"Are you sure you're not gay?" Richy chuckled.

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Jack: I'm more than on board with this plan. Suzy was complete dead weight in today's challenge and is defying everything that's thrown at her. She needs a little dose of reality. I'm just trying to be realistic here.

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Wulfric walked with Chesney along the dirt road.

"I'm sure you know the plan by now." Wulfric began. "Xena is a nuisance and he needs to leave."

"I agree! She came up to me and tried to get me to vote for you." Chesney stammered.

"Oh? Well, all the more reason for her to leave… What did you say?" Wulfric asked.

"I was just kinda vague, you know. I-I obviously won't do it! I'm voting for Xena!" Chesney said worriedly.

"I know you will…" Wulfric smirked.

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Wulfric: Chesney is so incredibly easy to manipulate. I just hope Suzy actually listens to me...If she does, it's bye-bye Xena, since I'll be sure to talk to one of those three other men.

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Chesney: I hear wedding bells, already! Ahhh! But that doesn't mean I'm still not gonna try and win the hearts of Salem and Moonclaw. Three boys fighting over me!

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Dude walked out of the mess hall, licking his fingers, when Jack walked up to him.

"What up, Dude?" Jack smiled.

"Yo, dude." Dude replied.

"Hey, how do you feel about voting for Suzy? She's kinda...you know. Dead weight." Jack explained.

Dude gave Jack a thumbs up. "Ch'ya, dude."

"Alright man, awesome. Great to hear." Jack smirked. He then smelled food cooking. "Is Chef making food in there?"

Dude nodded. "Ch'ya."

"Oh hey, yo. I'm gonna go get some. Remember, Dude. Suzy." Jack then ran into the mess hall.

Dude responded with another thumbs up.

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Jack: (Jack was eating a hot dog.) Damn, this is good. Since when does Chef make good food?

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Richy approached Xena, who was scrolling on her phone.

"What's up?" Richy smiled.

"What do you want, cisshit?" Xena hissed.

"I'm wondering. Who are you voting for?" Richy asked.

"I'm voting for Wulfric, obviously…" Xena groaned.

"Well, what if I give you a counter vote?" Richy suggested.

"You're not going to convince me. That white fucker has already given me multiple panic attacks. And you're giving me one, right now…" Xena said a bit frantically.

"Now just hear me out. How do you feel about voting for Suzy? She's just dead weight. Plus Wulfric tries in challenges. And hey, Suzy is also white." Richy brought up.

"I said you're not gonna convince me! Now leave me alone." Xena said, freaking out more.

"Alright, alright. Fair enough. I can't force you to do anything." Richy walked off.

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Xena: (Xena was hyperventilating). I'm sending Wulfric home and that's that!

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Richy: Well shit. Even if Jack convinces Dude, that's not a full majority. I guess I'll talk to Wulfric or something. He doesn't seem to like Suzy, even though they work together. Either way, this vote is gonna get messy. But hey, that's one of many reasons why I love this show.

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Suzy was relaxing on the beach as Wulfric walked up to her, blocking the sun from her.

"Um. Excuse me. You're blocking my sun." Suzy hissed.

"Don't care. I've been your servant for two days now for your vote. We're voting for Xena. End of story." Wulfric said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, no. I'm actually thinking Jack." Suzy replied. "And what I say goes, so…"

"That's where you're wrong. Remember how you almost went home last time? What's stopping anyone from kicking you out this time? I'm trying to save you." Wulfric growled.

"Fine, whatever, you big baby. I'll vote for Xena or whatever. Just get out of my way." Suzy whined.

Wulfric scowled and walked off.

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Wulfric: I doubt she's even going to do it. She's digging her own grave, I guess. There really isn't anything I can do…

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Suzy: Pfft! Obviously I lied to Wulfric and am still voting for Jack. He doesn't tell me what to do…

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

"Aazhikwe Memookiwidoo!" Damian shouted over the loudspeaker. "It's time for your first elimination ceremony! Please meet me in the center of camp! Over and out!"

The seven campers sat around on lawn chairs in front of a large fire.

"Welcome, Memookiwidoo to your first team elimination ceremony." Damian greeted. "As you know, if you're safe, you'll receive a marshmallow. If you don't. You'll have to take the Bus of Losers straight out of this game. Got it?"

The seven teens nodded in agreement.

"Alright." Damian grinned. "Let's begin. The first marshmallow goes to Chesney!"

"Really?! Oh thank you!" Chesney caught her marshmallow.

"Next is Dude!"

"Richy! That concludes who didn't receive any votes." Damian smirked.

The four remaining campers looked nervous.

"Jack!"

"Wulfric!"

Wulfric caught his marshmallow and smirked devilishly at Xena

"And the final marshmallow goes to…

...

…

...

…

...

…

...

…

...

…

...

…

...

…

...

…

...

…

… Xena."

"Yes! Oh yes!" Xena caught her marshmallow.

Suzy looked dumbfounded. "Wait. What?! Me?! You all voted me out?! This is an outrage! I demand a recount!"

"No recount need, Suzy. You're out." Damian said.

"You're all idiots. You're obviously too stupid to know perfection when you see it." Suzy scoffed as she walked onto the Bus of Losers. Hatchet drove away from the campground, sending the arrogant girl away from the Hanwi campground.

"Looks like Suzy couldn't escape elimination a second time." Damian announced. "How will our new teams interact further? Will it be civility, drama, some other emotion? Find out next time! On Total. Drama. Cabin Fever!"

* * *

Votes:

Chesney- Xena

Dude- Suzy

Jack- Suzy

Richy- Suzy

Suzy- Jack

Wulfric- Xena

Xena- Wulfric

3 Suzy, 2 Xena, 1 Jack, 1 Wulfric

* * *

And Suzy is the next to go. I can think of very few people who even liked the character. But a character like Suzy is basically tailor made to be an early boot. So I don't see how, in multiple seasons, characters like her cockroach to the end. Suzy is to show where these characters logically belong. At the bottom, due to the team finding them to be obnoxious dead weight. Plus, ya know, she was also a parody of the recolor characters that were fucking everywhere back in, like, 2009. Love or hate her, Suzy's time is up.


	4. Ep4- Total Drama Idol

"Last time on Total Drama Cabin Fever!" Damian said on the dirt road for the recap. "We split our remaining twenty one campers into three teams of seven. They're now Aazhikwe Memookiwidoo, Naniizaanad Ashigan, and Wanaanimizi Esiban. The three teams were given a challenge to canoe across the lake, dig up a planted artifact, and return it to camp. Due to added teamwork and a little 'help' from one of Tara's concoctions, Esiban and Ashigan were able to claim victory, leaving Memookiwidoo left to send someone home. The votes were a bit messy, but, in the chaos, Richy and Jack managed to persuade Dude, albeit it didn't take much, and Suzy was sent home due to her poor attitude and refusal to work in the challenge. We're down to twenty, soon to be nineteen. Who will be leaving next? Find out now. On Total. Drama. Cabin Fever!"

Tara secluded herself in the woods, sprinkling various liquids and powders into a large pot over a fire. "Now. Just a pinch of manganese and it will be ready…" She said with a twisted grin. She carefully grabbed a small bag and pinched a bit out. She carefully hovered her fingers over the pot. "Steady...steady….peace...and quiet…"

Suddenly blaring rock music played. Tara in surprise, dropped the entire bag into the mixture, which triggered a large explosion. The dark clad girl sat on the ground, covered in soot and noticeably angry, as the music grew louder. Tara looked behind her and saw Jynxie walking through the trees and playing an air guitar, an MP3 player at her hip. The magic girl angrily stood up and walked over to Jynxie.

"Oh hey!" Jynxie said loudly. "You're that creepy witch chick!" Jynxie then took note of how blackened Tara was. "What happened to you?!"

Tara grabbed Jynxie's MP3 player and crushed it in her hand. "Next time, invest in some headphones…" She growled.

"Hey, that wasn't cool!" Jynxie whined.

"Neither was you ruining my creation…" Tara seethed, pointing towards the crater that used to be her equipment.

"Oh rad! What were you making?" Jynxie asked, excitedly.

"That's none of your business." Tara hissed.

"Was it a love potion? By the way, you should make me a love potion." Jynxie pestered.

"And why should I do that?" Tara scowled.

"Because you wanna help a girl out?" Jynxie suggested.

Tara simply scowled. "Who is this this scum you're trying to manipulate?"

"Um...Stratbot." Jynxie looked away.

"I don't even know if my potions will work on the robot….although...that would be quite the experiment." Tara then grinned eerily. "Fine. I'll make your love potion. But you'll have to collect the ingredients that I don't have." The witch then began to write on a notepad and handed it to the punk girl.

Jynxie took the notepad and began reading. "Humming bird saliva, ink, red wine, passion fruit juice, some of my DNA...wait...some of Stratbot's DNA?!"

Tara snickered. "I didn't say it would be easy. Frankly, I'm very interested in this experiment. So good luck. Try to get those before you're inevitably voted off."

"...Hey!" Jynxie shouted.

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Tara: If that dumb girl wants to go on a wild goose chase and get herself kicked off, I say let her. This is a win-win situation for me. Either she goes home for being a spaz, or I get to test out a new experiment.

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Jynxie: Alright! I'm so gonna do this! I just don't know if Stratbot even has DNA.. Maybe metal shavings?

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Richy, Lance, Stratbot met deep in the woods to discuss strategy.

"So all three of us being on separate teams may cause kind of a snag in our plans, but no matter. We just need to get a firm hold and we'll all be mergebound." Richy explained.

"Indeed." Stratbot nodded. "This way, we can discuss any team dynamics we see. By the way, what happened on your team?"

"Yeah, I saw that disgusting colored haired brat left." Lance said, rolling his eyes.

"I thought you'd like her. She seemed mean." Stratbot chuckled.

"There's a difference between evil and being a stuck-up bitch, robot!" Lance said dramatically.

"Well, Xena and Wulfric hate each other. So I managed to talk to Jack and Dude and we got a clean majority out of the chaos." Richy answered.

"Hm. I suppose that is rather lucky for you." Stratbot nodded.

"Did you stir the plot? Did you piss them off and make them hate each other?" Lance grinned.

"No, they just kinda...hated each other." Richy shrugged. "Xena's super left wing and crazy about all of that pronoun stuff, Wulfric is just a douchebag."

"Hm..What about Chesney? Isn't she on your team?" Stratbot asked.

"She's basically Wulfric's pet at this point." Richy rolled his eyes.

"Ew." The robot cringed.

"What about you guys? How are your teams?" Richy then asked.

"I have that vile little hero kid on my team." Lance spat. "But I think if I can bunch up some people, he can be gone in a snap." The wannabe villain smirked sadistically.

"Garrett or Diana seem to be the prime targets on my team." Stratbot explained. "Garrett is rather bothersome and hasn't really proven a whole lot of worth, despite his stature, in challenges. And Diana is lazy. Plus the two hang out a lot so…"

"So what?" Lance asked.

Stratbot simply looked at Richy, lowering his 'eyelids', then turned back to Lance. "So they'll go down like dominos."

"Oh...right. I knew that!" Lance huffed.

"Alright, I have other things to do. Gotta prep the team so we don't lose again." Richy cracked his back as he stood up.

"Given the elimination going your way, would you say you're the team leader?" Stratbot asked.

Richy chuckled. "Hell no. That team is a mess. Wulfric needs to be in charge, so does Xena. Jack kinda drags us in challenges. I lead the team strategically, but it's a crazy power struggle."

"I'm fairly confident that I can take hold my team soon enough." Stratbot said confidently.

"Pfft! You two need to step up! I'll be running my team by dinner. Evil always has power!" Lance shouted.

Stratbot gave Richy the same look he gave earlier.

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Richy: And little do those two know that Jack is also in my little 'let's slink to the merge' plan. I think I've got two good alliances set up here. Things are looking up!

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Stratbot: I'm in two alliances with him and boy, Lance is thick in the head. Which is why he will be perfect to drag to 3rd place. Then, if things go right, it shall be Jynxie and I… What? I could totally beat her in a challenge. (Stratbot looks away)

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Lance: Haha! Little does Richy know that Stratbot and I are playing him like a fiddle. And I'm also lowkey playing Stratbot with the Legion of Evil. This game shall receive a victory for evil! Just look how stacked I am! (Lance laughs maniacally)

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Luke and Moonclaw hung around the rickety playground. Luke swung around the bars, while Moonclaw dug holes.

"If I can ask, why are you digging?" Luke asked.

"Wolves dig holes, duh." Mooclaw replied as he continued to dig.

"I think that's dogs, silly." Luke chuckled.

"Well, what are wolves if not feral dogs? Rawr!" Moonclaw growled.

"You know, I actually thought about something." Luke replied. "What do wolves do in terms of morality?"

Moonclaw looked back up from a now deeper hole, covered in dirt. "Wait, what? What do you mean?"

"Like, are wolves good and evil and such?" Luke asked.

Moonclaw shrugged. "Eh, wolves just kinda do what they do. Kill because they're hungry. Defend the pack. All that stuff. We're very loyal to our pack, though! So I guess that's good?"

"Oh, that is good!" Luke beamed.

"And you and Kari are like my pack in this game! So remember that!" Moonclaw said triumphantly.

"I knew you were a good man...er...wolf, Moonclaw." Luke smiled. "Let the Ultra Good Friends win this game for good!" The young hero then posed picturesquely.

"Wait...Where's Kari?" Moonclaw looked confused.

Luke kept his stance and smiled awkwardly. "I...don't know!"

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Luke: Well, it's good to know that Moonclaw has a code of honor! Looks like our alliance is good and solid. Emphasis on good!

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Moonclaw: As a wolf, I stay loyal to my pack. Loyal and close. However, to those that aren't… (Moonclaw scrapes the wooden wall and snickers sinisterly, then growls.)

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Salem sat in the mess hall and prodded at some eggs made by Chef. He then took out what looked like a medieval looking plastic chalice and filled it with tomato juice. He took a sip and grinned a cheesily sinister grin.

Chesney collected her eggs and looked back at Salem, she then looked over to the dusty condiment counter Chef had set up. She walked over to it and began loading her eggs with mustard.

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Chesney: My ultimate fantasy is for the monster boys and prince Wulfric to save me and sweep me off my feet. It's only Salem and I right now and I'm super allergic to mustard. Time to work my magic!

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Chesney set her eggs down and beamed at the vampire boy. "Hey there, Salem." She said semi-flirtatiously.

"Uhm...hello." Salem replied, quite obviously uncomfortable.

"So how are you on this dreadful morning?" Chesney asked with a sly smile.

"Uh, it's not all that dreadful. I mean, the daylight hours you humans go by are accursed!" Salem put his cape over his head. "But other than that, it's pretty dandy- I-I mean...excellent…" Salem then quickly took another sip from his chalice.

Chesney sighed in a fake swooning manner. "You're so interesting." She then took a bite of her mustard eggs and soon began to hack and cough, her face turning purple.

Salem jumped in surprise. "Oh jeez! Chesney, are you alright?!" The vampire stammered, his voice cracking.

Chesney choked and pointed to her pocket.

Salem frantically dug his hand into the pocket, searching for whatever Chesney pointed at. As he was searching, Chesney wore a giddy smile on her swollen face. Salem then found an epipen and drove it hard into Chesney's neck. Soon, her swelling went down and she gasped for air.

"Thank you soooo much for saving me…" Chesney said boisterously, but still out of breath.

"U-uh...no problem…" Salem said, shaking.

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Chesney: That went better than expected! I need to keep this up! I can't believe Salem actually saved me and held me in his arms! (Chesney sighed dreamily)

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Salem: What in the hell was that? This girl is a major clutz. But I won't kick her when she's down. I will take her life's blood on my own terms. Mwahahahaha! Ugh...that really freaked me out though…

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Xena and May walked around camp, near the communal washrooms. Wulfric walked out around the same time and sneered snottily. He whistled loudly. "Hooo damn guuurl!" He said in a very over-the-top hillbilly voice.

Xena immediately turned and scowled. "Excuse me? Did you just fucking catcall me?"

"Now now, Xena." May advised.

Wulfric scoffed. "As if, little boy. I was simply mocking these far west hicks you constantly berate. Doesn't that mean we're on the same side. And besides, even if I were catcalling, it for sure wouldn't be towards you. It would be the lovely maiden you always spend time with." Wulfric then winked at May.

May couldn't help but blush. Xena, however, was fuming.

"Now listen here, you cishet piece of trash!" Xena screamed. "It hasn't even been a week and you have made me break down so often! I just I-I-" Xena then began to hyperventilate.

"C'mon, Xena. It's alright…" May cooed, then turned to Wulfric and said calmly. "Wulfric, please grow up. You're royalty afterall. Act like it."

Wulfric sneered and rolled his eyes. "I will try, madam." He said before flashing a crude grin once again.

"It's okay, Xena. How about we watch that one anime with the gay volleyball kids? I know you love that one!" May said happily.

"Y-yeah...I do…" Xena stammered.

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Wulfric: Hm… If I'm to woo May, I'll have to keep the mud I fling at Xena away from her. Although, knowing Xena, he'll just go and tattle. So May be a lost cause. Oh well. It's not like I'm in any position to leave any time soon.

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Xena: Ugh, I hate Wulfric so so so much! I want her gone! Ugh, but all I have is Chesney, who's being raped and manipulated by Wulfric. I can't talk to those other cishet men...ugh…

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May: Wulfric kinda reminds me of this character from this old shoujo anime named Neji Janaharuno. He was basically an evil space king who would terrorize the town, especially the women, so it was up to the main character and her squad of magical girls to stop him! I just hope Wulfric isn't that mean. But the way he treats Xena is...not good…

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Jack, Garrett, and Brock sat by the lake, discussing strategy.

"Good job ditchin' that obnoxious lil' bitch, injin." Garret smirked.

Jack chuckled. "Oh it was nothing. God, she was a nuisance. It was a messy vote, though."

"I knew you could do it, el Jackadores! But how? Like, how was it messy?" Brock added.

"Well, Wulfric and Xena hate eachother. And then Wulfric has Chesney on his side. So there was so crazy shit going on there. So I just managed to talk some sense into Richy and Dude, because they were sick of Suzy too. So we snuck a majority out of it, especially since Suzy randomly voted for me." Jack explained, ending with a small laugh.

"Gawd, what a dumb bitch." Garrett laughed. "So I reckon yer pretty safe over there?"

"Bruh. It's Jack. Of course he's safe over there. I mean...it's Jack!" Brock replied.

"Eheheh, I guess…" Jack said, a bit uncomfortably flustered. "So what about you two? What's it looking like if you lose?"

"I don't know. Maybe May. We don't converso a lot." Brock explained. "Nothing bad or anything. She's just una nerda grande, and I'm not."

"Ah wanna get rid of that obnoxious punk chick." Garrett spat.

"Aw, why?" Brock asked. "She's rad!"

"Pshh! She's fuckin' obnoxious. I could hear her damn loud music from at least a mile away!" Garrett refuted.

"I hope you guys can think of something, because I don't wanna lose another challenge." Jack smirked.

"Why? You gotta ton of fodder." Garrett grumbled.

"Define fodder." Jack replied.

"Basically ev'ryone except those two ya got to vote with ya." Garrett explained.

"I mean...you're not wrong." Jack chuckled. "But I'm still not throwing a challenge."

"I'm sure we can think of something, el muchacho." Brock nudged Garrett.

"Well, let's just focus on winnin' then." Garrett scoffed.

"Yeah, Esiban losing would be ideal, then none of us have the chance of leaving." Jack admitted.

"Have the chance? Bro, we're gonna be the final 3, just you watch! Let's do this!" Brock exclaimed and put his hand in the middle of the three.

Jack and Garrett looked at each other, then Brock, then put their hands in as well.

"Let's do this!" Brock shouted.

"Hell yeah!" Jack yelled.

"Yeehaw!" Garrett bellowed.

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Jack: Obviously I didn't tell Garrett and Brock about my alliance with Richy. That would just be dumb. But honestly, I don't know who I'd wanna take with me. Especially out of those three. Brock I could smoke, Richy could probably be some competition, but not bad, and Garrett would be a huge fight. I guess we'll see where the cards fall. Either way, my alliances and friendships are going strong!

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Brock: Yeah, I'm hoping we don't lose tonight. That would be super no bueno. But eh, if we do, I'm sure we can get a majority. I'll talk to Salem or something. And I know Garrett is friends with Diana. There we go. Majority! Yes!

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Garrett: Honestly, these two er Diana are who ah'm plannin' on goin' to the end with. If'n my team didn't have me, or if I was fat 'er scrawny, I'd be pickin' all'a those freaks off one by one.

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Kari sat nervously between Diana and Dude in the open field, as Diana and Dude laid on the ground.

"S-so um...why did you want me to be here?" Kari asked.

"Well ya seemed lonely. All cooped up in yer cabin. Dude an' I have been relaxin', so I thought you'd like to join us." Diana smiled.

"Duuuuude…" Dude nodded.

"Is, um...this all you do?" Kari asked.

"What do ya mean?" Diana looked puzzled.

"I mean, um...just lay around? I'm sorry, that was rude…" Kari shrunk up.

"Well, isn't that what you were doin' in th' cabin?" Diana asked.

"Ch'ya dude." Dude nodded in response.

"And hey, it wasn't rude at all. Ya okay?" Diana said, concerned.

"I-I mean...I don't do much either, since I'm such a clutz. I usually just read or watch tv…" Kari mumbled.

"Hey, that's alright. Then this is good fer ya. If yet not comfortable, you can leave." Diana said with a smile.

"Ch'ya, brah." Dude replied with a smile.

"I mean...I guess I could try…" Kari squeaked.

"That's th' spirit. Jus' take a load off. 'S okay." Diana sighed.

Kari slowly laid down next to the other two.

"Duuuude…." Dude said contently a minute or so later, breaking the silence.

"Couldn't have put it better." Diana nodded.

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Dude: (Dude simply slowly swatted at a fly flying around him)

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

Diana: Kari's a nice gal. She's jus' gotta come outta her shell a lil'. Show her it ain't hard to make friends.

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Kari: I wasn't the most comfortable just hanging with th-those two..but...um..I mean... I don't know… I guess it was better than just being in the cabin?

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Rapheala quietly read a book under a tree, focused purely on its contents. Soon, the book was knocked out of her hands by a sailing football. Rapheala flinched as the ball made contact with her book. "My goodness!" She exclaimed.

Soon after, Winona ran up to the tree to collect the ball. "Oh hey, Rapheala." Winona smiled friendlily.

"Salutations, Winona." Rapheala greeted. "It seems the sport projectile you hurled quite brutishly in no discernable or focused direction almost struck me. Luckily, it only hit my book."

"Oh my gosh, I'm sorry! I guess I should've paid closer attention!" Winona apologized.

"It's quite alright. You didn't cause any physical harm to me. And any mental or emotional damage was no more than a minor spike of adrenaline for a few fleeting moments. The book doesn't appear to have received any damage, as well. And luckily, I can recall exactly where I left off" Rapheala chuckled.

"Yeah...heh...funny…" Winona said nervously.

"Although, I must say. You have quite the robust projectile launching prowess." Rapheala complemented.

"Hm? What do you mean?" Winona looked puzzled.

Rapheala looked slightly disappointed. "To put it simply. You throw well."

"Oh thank you!" Winona smiled. "I've always been told I have a good throwing arm. I was actually the quarterback for my school's football team one year. First female QB in the history of the county."

"My goodness, that is quite the remarkable accomplishment. Felicitations to you." Rapheala congratulated.

"Commercia-huh?" Winona looked confused.

"Congratulations." Rapheala simply said. "You're not the best with large words, are you?"

"Not really. My strong suit is sports...and I'm okay at history I guess." The athlete explained.

"Well, here's hoping that physical strength and dexterity of yours will aid our team further in challenges." Rapheala smiled.

"You know it!" Winona cheered.

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Rapheala: I'm tentative regarding aligning with Winona or anyone with a large amount of challenge skill. Given my...physique, I'm someone who could easily be targeting before the teams merge as one. But that's the issue. If I am to align with those that excel in physical feats, they'll also be in the merge. And, based on my experience, those strong in the body are not often strong in the mind, and sometimes very strong regarding their emotions. Ergo, I could very well see myself being publicly called out as a backstabber should I decide to, well, to put it simply, backstab. If this game's winner were decided by a jury of eliminated contestants, as almost every other reality competition seems to do, this would be no issue for me. But on Total Drama, pure brains and pure brawn are on equal footing. And I am quite unfortunately pure brains.

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

Winona: Rapheala is pretty cool. Super wordy though. Plus I don't really see her being much help in challenges, unless they're mental. Whatever. I'll be this team's coach and captain and get us to victory every time!

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

"Campers!" Damian shouted over the PA system. "Please meet me at the amphitheater on the other side of camp for your next challenge!"

The twenty remaining contestants met with Damian at a large makeshift amphitheater.

"Welcome to your next challenge! This time, one person from each team will be singing a song of their choice for our three judges. The two singers with the highest score win immunity, the lowest scoring camper will have their team be put on the chopping block." Damian explained.

"That's it? Just singing?" Wulfric asked.

"Yep. Nothing more. Nothing less." Damian replied.

"Duuuude!" Dude droned and began playing air guitar.

"You'll get fifteen minutes to decide who will be singing for our judges." Damian said. "Which include…"

Out stepped a mid-height black haired girl in a pink princess dress, a skinny, shaggy black haired boy with a woodsy green shirt, and Chef in DJ attire.

"The latest winner of the hit singing show 'Sing Your Heart Out', Ella Cinder!" Damian announced.

"Hellooo, everyone!" Ella chirped cheerily.

"Total Drama contestant and member of the famous Canadian boy band, 'The Drama Brothers', Trent!" Damian continued.

"Hey, what's up? Can't wait to hear you guys." Trent smirked.

"And Chef! Who was a DJ for quite a few year." Damian stumbled.

"Let's just get this damn show on the road." Chef bellowed.

Aazhikwe Memookiwidoo huddled together to decide who to choose.

"So obviously not Dude." Wulfric began.

Dude simply nodded, chuckling.

"Ooh! Ooh! I could try!" Chesney jumped up and down.

"I don't know…" Wulfric then trailed off.

"Well who the fuck put you in charge, cisshit?" Xena shouted. "Go ahead Chesney."

Chesney giddily smiled and began singing.

" _SOOOOOOMEWHEEEEERE! OOOVER THE RAAAA-"_

"Stop, please! Please!" Richy begged, as everyone else had their hands over their ears.

"O-oh...okay…" Chesney looked embarrassed.

"At least you tried." Xena said supportively. "I'm not going to try because I can't sing for shit. No sense in lying."

"Same." Richy chuckled.

"Well, I'd like to think that I have a rather melodious singing voice." Wulfric said snootily.

"Well, nobody wants to hear it, asshole." Xena said passive-aggressively.

The two then began to argue once again.

"Hey, uh…" Jack interrupted. "I was in choir throughout all of middle and high school. And I've had multiple solos. I think I can do this."

"Oh yeah? Show us." Wulfric scowled.

"Yeah, it's only fair." Richy shrugged.

Jack shrugged and began to sing.

" _Agonyyy...beyond power of speech…_

 _When the one thing you want…_

 _Is the only thing out of your reach…"_

The other team members looked impressed.

"Not bad at all." Richy said.

"Oh I agree." Wulfric raised an eyebrow.

"Eh, I've heard better from disabled queer black women. But it wasn't awful…" Xena scowled.

"Alright, it's settled!" Richy stated. "Jack will be our singer!"

"I'll...try not to blow this!" Jack chuckled.

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Chesney: Ugh! My voice is awful! Prince Wulfric will never love me now!

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Naniizaanad Ashigan all met up to discuss their singer.

"Okay hear me out!" Jynxie said. "Me."

"Hell no!" Garret griped. "Ah've heard yer voice."  
"Yeah, I'm not even gonna lie. I don't think grainy bear screams will get us immunity." May added. "Sorry."

"Pshh, fuck you guys then." Jynxie pouted.

"It's alright, Jynxie. They're just jealous." Stratbot chuckled.

"Yo, we should have the robot sing!" Brock shouted. "He's probably got some crazy autotune shit! I've fiddled with machines that do that before. Do you have one in there somewhere?"

"Would that even be allowed?" Diana asked, unsure.

"I don't think we should risk it, honestly." Stratbot replied. "Besides, who cares about autotune?"

"A-fuckin'-men." Garrett spat.

"Whaddya think, Salem?" Diana asked. "You've been pretty quiet."

"Well, mortal!" Salem said dramatically before slumping down. "I don't have much of a singing voice. Us vampires are more about our looks! Not our voice."

"Jesus Christ, gimme a break…" Garrett scoffed

"I'd like to think I have an okay voice." May added. "I used to watch fairy tale movies and listen to idol songs all the time as a kid!"

"I mean...can anyone else here sing?" Brock asked.

"Hell no." Garrett said

"Naw." Diana added

Salem and Stratbot shook their heads. Jynxie just pouted.

"Alright, you're our la singarita, May!" Brock said with a fakely smooth grin.

"I won't let you guys down! Watashi wa watashi no kokoro o utaimasu yo!" May smiled.

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Jynxie: Ugh! I can sing! They just don't know metal!

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May: Oh my gosh, I'm about to be just like a Japanese idol!

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Salem: I feel like Garrett gets meaner and meaner by the day…

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Wanaanimizi Esiban, akin to the other two teams, also discussed who to send on stage.

"Who here dabbles in the arts of the vocal and melodic?" Rapheala asked.

"You're just trying too hard, now…" Tara sneered.

"I can only howl." Moonclaw shrugged.

"Ooh, let's do that! It'll be cool and artsy!" Luke said excitedly.

"Maybe let's try to win." Winona chuckled. "I can't sing either, though…"

"Do you wanna try, Kari?" Luke asked calmly.

"N-no...I'm okay…" Kari mumbled.

"That's alright." Luke smiled in response.

"Ugh, you're all pathetic!" Lance spat. "I guess I'll have to assume the role of the singer!"

"You can sing?" Winona asked.

"What villain can't?!" Lance shouted. "Plus I've been the lead baritone in my high school's choir for the past three years and am a shoo in this upcoming year!"

"You're still in high school?" Tara asked with a scowl.

"U-um...uh...yeah.." Lance looked flustered. "Hahaha! Evil is for all ages! Haha….ha...but yeah, um, I'll sing…"

"You can do it, Lance! Sing that villainous song for us!" Luke said with a smile. Moonclaw then chuckled.

Lance scowled and walked onto the stage.

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Lance: I'll show this team the musical power of evil!

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Tara: Shit, I should've seen a challenge like this coming and whipped something up. I just hope Lance doesn't bite it out there. If he screws up, I could easily see him being a target…

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Winona: I guess I'm not really needed for coaching this round...Heh…

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

"Ladies and gentleman! We have our three vocal performers!" Damian announced. "The team that goes first will be decided at random!" Damian then put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper.

"Boy, you spared no expense there, huh Damian?" Chef chuckled.

Damian scowled and unfurled the paper. "May of Naniizaanad Ashigan will be our first singer!"

May skipped up to the stage in Japanese idol garb. A group of interns began playing a slow melodious tune and the anime fan began to sing.

" _I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream_

 _I know you, the gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam_

 _Yet I know it's true that visions are seldom all they seem_

 _But if I know you, I know what you'll do_

 _You'll love me at once, the way you did once upon a dream_

 _But if I know you, I know what you'll do_

 _You'll love me at once_

 _The way you did once upon a dream_ _!"_

Then, the tempo began to grow faster, the music changing from slow orchestral to a J-Pop feel.

" _Anata wo itsumo yume ni mite_

 _Sono hitomi sae totemo natsukashii_

 _Yume wa maboroshii da to iu keredo_

 _Demo wakaru anata koso_

 _Aishitekureru ano yume to onaji ni_

 _Demo wakaru anata koso_

 _Aishitekureru ano yume to onaji ni_

 _Anata wo itsumo yume ni mite_

 _Sono hitomi sae totemo natsukashii_

 _Yume wa maboroshii da to iu keredo_

 _Demo wakaru anata koso_

 _Aishitekureru ano yume to onaji ni!_ "

May then ended the song with an over-the-top looking idol pose.

"Oh my goodness! That was so cute! I loved the transition and your voice is gorgeous! Eight out of ten!" Ella cheered.

"That wasn't bad. The transition was super jarring to me and you don't really have a fairytale voice. Definitely a pop one. But eh, I wasn't feeling the first part. Six out of ten, I guess." Trent critiqued.

"I really didn't like it." Chef said gruffly. "You've got potential. But'cha need more practice. But I'll be generous. Five outta ten."

May wasn't sure how to feel as she walked away and Damian walked onto the stage.

"Alright, totalled up, May received nineteen out of thirty!" Damian announced.

"Ya alright?" Diana asked May as she sat in the bleachers.

"Oh I'm fine." May chuckled. "I just know I can't sing like a princess."

"Ugh, Trent's a fucking racist, that's why…" Xena grumbled.

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

Xena: You, a woman of color, have a pop voice, but not a fairy tale one. Jesus Christ, Trent, you anglocentric fuck!

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

May: I think Xena is more mad than me. I mean. I think I'm up against Lance and Jack. At least with Lance, I'm not really scared of getting last place.

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

"Next up is…" Damian pulled out and unfurled another sheet of paper. "Jack from Aazhikwe Memookiwidoo!"

Jack stepped onto the stage and began to sing as the interns played.

" _If I had a million dollars_

 _If I had a million dollars_

 _Well, I'd buy you a house_

 _I would buy you a house_

 _And if I had a million dollars_

 _If I had a million dollars_

 _I'd buy you furniture for your house_

 _Maybe a nice Chesterfield or an ottoman_

 _And if I had a million dollars_

 _If I had a million dollars_

 _Well, I'd buy you a K-Car_

 _A nice Reliant automobile_

 _And if I had a million dollars, I'd buy your love_

 _If I had a million dollars_

 _I'd build a tree-fort in our yard_

 _If I had a million dollars you could help_

 _It wouldn't be that hard_

 _If I had a million dollars_

 _Maybe we could put a little tiny fridge_

 _In there somewhere_

 _..._

 _If I had a million dollars_

 _If I had a million dollars_

 _Well, I'd buy you a fur coat_

 _But not a real fur coat, that's cruel_

 _And if I had a million dollars_

 _If I had a million dollars_

 _Well, I'd buy you an exotic pet_

 _Yep, like a llama or an emu_

 _And if I had a million dollars_

 _If I had a million dollars_

 _Well, I'd buy you John Merrick's remains_

 _All them crazy elephant bones_

 _And if I had a million dollars I'd buy your love_

 _If I had a million dollars_

 _We wouldn't have to walk to the store_

 _If I had a million dollars_

 _We'd take a limousine, 'cause it costs more_

 _If I had a million dollars_

 _We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner_

 _But we would eat Kraft Dinner_

 _Of course we would, we'd just eat more_

 _..._

 _If I had a million dollars_

 _If I had a million dollars_

 _Well, I'd buy you a green dress_

 _But not a real green dress, that's cruel_

 _And if I had a million dollars_

 _If I had a million dollars_

 _Well, I'd buy you some art_

 _A Picasso or a Garfunkel_

 _If I had a million dollars_

 _If I had a million dollars_

 _Well, I'd buy you a monkey_

 _Haven't you always wanted a monkey?_

 _If I had a million dollars I'd buy your love_

 _If I had a million dollars_

 _If I had a million dollars_

 _If I had a million dollars_

 _If I had a million dollars_

 _If I had a million dollars_

 _I'd be rich!"_

Jack smiled and took a bow.

"Wow! You're really good! Your voice is as smooth as butter~" Ella swooned. "Nine out of ten!"

"Bold choice doing a song that really should be done with multiple people, bro." Trent smirked. "I think you actually pulled it off really well. Your transitions were pretty swift and you definitely have the voice for a song like that. Yeah, I'm going with Ella, nine out of ten."

"Yeah, not bad, kid. Ya were kinda choppy though. Eh, seven outta ten." Chef shrugged.

Jack smiled widely at his scores.

"And Jack receives a twenty five out of thirty! Lance will pretty much have to get a perfect score to get first place! But, he can also get second so no pressure." Damian chuckled.

As Jack walked off the stage, Lance walked on.

"Bro, you killed it out there!" Brock said with a smile.

"Yeah, dude, great job." Richy said with a thumbs up.

"Thanks. I think we got this, Richy." Jack said with a confident smirk. "Hell, we may have first unless Lance is, like, a hidden music god. Which would actually be hilarious." The boy laughed as he sat down.

Lance took a deep breath in and out, then began to sing as the interns played a low tune.

" _When the Devil is too busy_

 _And death's a bit too much_

 _They call on me by name, you see_

 _For my special touch_

 _To the gentlemen, I'm Miss Fortune_

 _To the ladies, I'm Sir Prize_

 _But call me by any name_

 _Anyway, it's all the same_

 _I'm the fly in your soup_

 _I'm the pebble in your shoe_

 _I'm the pea beneath your bed_

 _I'm a bump on every head_

 _I'm the peel on which you slip_

 _I'm a pin in every hip_

 _I'm the thorn in your side_

 _Makes you wriggle and writhe_

 _And it's so easy when you're evil_

 _This is the life, you see_

 _The Devil tips his hat to me_

 _I do it all because I'm evil_

 _And I do it all for free_

 _Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need_

 _While there's children to make sad_

 _While there's candy to be had_

 _While there's pockets left to pick_

 _While there's grannies left to trip down the stairs_

 _I'll be there, I'll be waiting round the corner_

 _It's a game, I'm glad I'm in it_

 _'Cause there's one born every minute_

 _And it's so easy when you're evil_

 _This is the life, you see_

 _The Devil tips his hat to me_

 _I do it all because I'm evil_

 _And I do it all for free_

 _Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need_

 _I pledge my allegiance, to all things dark_

 _And I promise on my damned soul_

 _To do as I am told, Lord Beelzebub_

 _Has never seen a soldier quite like me_

 _Not only does his job, but does it happily_

 _I'm the fear that keeps you awake_

 _I'm the shadows on the wall_

 _I'm the monsters they become_

 _I'm the nightmare in your skull_

 _I'm a dagger in your back_

 _An extra turn on the rack_

 _I'm the quivering of your heart_

 _A stabbing pain, a sudden start_

 _And it's so easy when you're evil_

 _This is the life, you see_

 _The Devil tips his hat to me_

 _I do it all because I'm evil_

 _And I do it all for free_

 _Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need_

 _And I do it all for free_

 _Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need_

 _And I do it all for free_

 _Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need_

 _It gets so lonely being evil_

 _What I'd do to see a smile_

 _Even for a little while_

 _And no one loves you when you're evil…_

 _..._

 _I'm lying though my teeth!_

 _Your tears are all the company I need!"_

"Oooh! How creepy! I really liked it! I'd say… Eight out of ten!" Ella smiled.

"Eh, that song at a lot of talk-singing, which I'm not a fan of. But you put a lot of passion into the parts that were actual, ya know, singing, and you've got a nice voice. I'm gonna say seven out of ten." Trent shrugged.

"Yeah, what Trent said. Except I wasn't crazy about'cha voice. I mean it wasn't bad. But it wasn't good. But also passion and yadda yadda. I'm givin' ya a five outta ten."

Lance looked a mix of angry and worried.

"And Lance receives twenty out of thirty for his singing! Which means Aazhikwe Memookiwidoo wins first place, Wanaanimizi Esiban wins second, and Naniizaanad Ashigan, by only one point, will be sending someone home tonight! Sorry." Damian announced.

Memookiwidoo and Esiban began to cheer as Ashigan looked mad or disappointed.

Brock and Garrett walked along the dirt path, discussing the vote.

"So I don't wanna ditch the punk chick. She's rad." Brock grinned.

"Ugh, I can't fuckin' stand her…" Garrett groaned.

"Why not May or something? In the challenge, she was an el failurdores." Brock retorted.

"Well, th' punk and that robot are pretty damn close, too." Garrett grumbled.

"How do you know?" Brock asked.

"Well one, ah know when a girl is all about a piece of machinery. Whether it's a tractor, one of those dumb smart phones, or...something else...trust me, ah know this.." Garrett explained.

"Heh, same bro, same." Brock nudged the cowboy with his elbow.

Garrett scowled in response. "Plus they're always together…"

"Oh right…" Brock chuckled. "Wait, then why don't we ditch the robot?"

"Because he's actually good at challenges. Ah wanna get ridda these freaks soon, too. But if we lose too often, we'll eventually hafta pick each other off like vultures." Garrett replied. "I'll talk ta Diana about the vote. Ah'm sure she'll agree with us."

"Cool cool. We're gonna need one of those 'el freakos' though, dude. I'll talk to Salem. Maybe he'll vote with us. You talk to Diana, I'll talk to Salem. See ya. I'm gonna go get my bike." Brock then ran off.

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

Brock: Is Diana in the alliance with Garrett, Jack and I? Or do Garrett, Diana, and I have a side alliance? Huh…

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

Garrett: Ah'll make sure that lil' duo is broken up and, more importantly, that obnoxious punk freak is sent home.

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Stratbot and Jynxie sat in the woods alone.

"You still mad about the singing thing? There there." Stratbot patted Jynxie.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I kinda wanna get back at May though. Or Garrett. They both said no to me. May fucked us over and Garrett is just...not rad." Jynxie explained.

"Hmm…" Stratbot pondered. "Getting rid of Garrett could be risky, given his challenge skill. Although, that would be a big move! Plus he's just a pain to deal with. Let's do it."

"Wait, really?!" Jynxie exclaimed. "But the guy's a tank!"

"We've been in a three challenges already and he hasn't gotten first in any way in any of them. I think we'll be fine without him. Besides, I'm sure we'll have Salem and May's votes right away. Garrett is a dick to them." Stratbot explained.

"Yo! Let's fucking do this! You're a genius!" Jynxie fist pumped.

"Well it was partially your idea." Stratbot chuckled.

"You deserve a pat on the back...Or maybe a scratch?" Jynxie began to scratch Stratbot's back.

"Uh...what?" Stratbot looked confused and uncomfortable.

"Oh, uh...nothing…" Jynxie looked away.

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

Stratbot: Uh...what exactly was Jynxie trying to do there…? E-either way, Garrett is the target tonight. He's a massive anchor on team morale.

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

Jynxie: (Jynxie checked her nails) Dammit! No metal shavings! This is gonna be harder than I thought…

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

May and Salem sat in the mess hall, each ranting a bit.

"Wulfric is just so rude to Xena. It's just...He's a cute guy, but the way he treats them is just so awful." May said.

Salem looked confused. "Them?"

"Xena occasionally goes by 'they/them' pronouns." May explained.

"Ah, okay, whatever." Salem shrugged. "I'm just sick of Garrett. He's like a modern day Van Helsing! Except, instead of stakes and crosses, he uses harsh words and that cutting hick gaze of his…"

"Oh definitely. I feel like he's probably out to get us just because we're nerds." May rolled her eyes.

"Hey." Salem frowned.

"No offense." May quickly added.

"Well...we could always drive a stake into him." Salem grinned.

"That would be suicide! He's so good at challenges!" May replied.

Salem chuckled. "Well, even if our team goes down, maybe we can stay safe."

"What do you mean?" May asked.

"Let's form an alliance! Vampire and magical girl, making this game their's!" Salem shouted.

May giggled. "Magical girl...Sure! Let's do it!"

The two high-fived.

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

May: Well looks like I have an alliance with Salem now. And we're gonna take Garrett down the only way nerds can! With our minds! Wish me luck! (May beamed and held up a peace sign)

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

Salem: Mwahaha...I have a female follower at my disposal! And we'll take down that giant hick and I'll drain him of his very life!

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Garrett walked up to Diana, who was fishing with a makeshift rod of a stick, wire and sharp metal.

"Howdy hey." Garrett greeted.

"Hey there, Garrett." Diana smiled.

"So have ya thought on who ta vote?" Garrett asked.

"Not really. Ah've just been takin' it easy." Diana shrugged.

"Hm...Well, ah'm thinkin' Jynxie. Would'ya be on board with that?" Garrett wondered.

Diana turned. "Ah mean. What's the reason?"

Garrett looked confused and annoyed. "Well, she's fuckin' obnoxious."

"Garrett, ah dunno if that's a good enough reason…" Diana advised.

"C'mon. Plus she's probably got'a close alliance with th' robot." Garrett replied.

"Ah mean...ah guess she is pretty loud and it screws with my relaxin'..." Diana admitted.

"So you'll vote fer her?" Garrett looked hopeful.

"Yeah, I suppose." Diana gave a reassuring smile.

"Thanks a ton! I gotta go get at least one more vote in order!" The large cowboy got up and ran off.

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

Garrett: Yee haw! This is goin' great! If Brock can get that stupid vampire kid to vote fer Jynxie, we'll be good as gold!

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

Diana: Well, at least Garrett's good side is comin' out to me. He actually said 'thank you'. (Diana chuckled)

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Salem left the mess hall and began to head to the boys cabin, before being stopped by Brock on his motorcycle.

"Gah! Watch where you're driving!" Salem shouted in fear.

Brock took off his helmet. "Oh whoops. Sorry, vampiro!" Brock said loudly, before shutting his bike off. "I actually needed to talk to you."

"Oh? What is your predicament that requires you to speak to the undead?" Salem asked dramatically.

"Listen, Draculario." Brock put his arm around Salem's shoulder. "We're gonna vote off Jynxie. You in? She's loud and crazy, and I'm sure you're more a broadway and organ music kind of guy. Not metal."

"Who is 'we'?" Salem asked.

"Well, Garrett and I for sure. Your vote would definitely help." Brock smiled.

"I'll think about it." Salem quickly replied. "She does remind me of the wretched posers who try to be one of my kind, but they just shop at those stupidly 'edgy' mall stores! Wearing Commander Zitz tees and cartoon skeleton beanies does not make you a vampire, Morty and Max!" Salem stomped his foot down.

"Bromigo, do you need un timeout or something?" Brock asked, concerned.

"I'm fine…" Salem said. "I'll think about it, though."

"Awesome! Grassyass!" Brock got back onto his bike and sped up, causing Salem to flinch again.

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

Brock: And bing bang boom. El majority!

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

Salem: I'm not one to lie often. But I will harness the darkness of the vampire kind for this game. I'm still voting Garrett. My point on poser vamp kids still stands, though. Morty and Max, if you're watching this, get your shit together!

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

Stratbot knocked on the window nearest May in the mess hall and pointed for her to meet him outside. May complied and walked out. The two began to converse.

"Konichiwa, robotto!" May smiled.

"Hello." Stratbot replied back. "So who have you been thinking for the vote. Because I have quite the idea."

"Oh, I'm voting Garrett." May quickly said.

Stratbot paused. "Oh...well...good..that was what I was thinking…"

"Wait really? I had the same idea as a robot?!" May giggled.

"I guess so. Heh." Stratbot rubbed the back of his head.

"Hey, we should talk about robot stuff." May said excitedly.

"Eh, I don't know. I have to secure this vote with others. Besides, talking about robots to me is just like you and someone else talking about your basic human functions. It's boring...and I know how humans function and it's gross." Stratbot cringed as he headed off.

"Aw…" May looked at the ground. "I guess later."

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

Stratbot: Huh. I guess this plan wasn't too ambitious after all. I really must give May props. But I must also keep an eye out on her…

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

May: I guess I know where Stratbot gets the "Strat" part from.

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|- 

Diana continued sitting on the dock, fishing, on the verge of falling asleep. That is, before Jynxie screamed loudly before jumping into the lake.

"CANNONBALL!" The punk girl shouted as she made contact with the water in a loud splash.

Diana looked much more surprised than annoyed. "Howdy, Jynxie." She greeted with a smile.

Jynxie resurfaced and spat out water. "Hiya, Diana! So we gotta talk about the vote."

"Oh?" Diana said, dazedly.

"Yeah, I'm thinking Garrett! You?" Jynxie asked.

"Oh...uh...well, ah'm sorry, Jynxie. Ah'm afraid I'm gonna be votin' fer you." Diana said matter-of-factly.

"Wait, what? Why?" Jynxie shouted in shock.

"Nothin' personal. Garrett just got to me first and ah talk ta him more." Diana shrugged. "I still like ya an' all."

"Well I mean...I gotta figure this shit out!" Jynxie got out of the lake and ran off.

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

Diana: Ah wasn't gonna lie ta her. Ah'm not that kinda gal.

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

Jynxie: (Jynxie shook her head furiously, drying her hair.) I mean...I'm glad she was honest. But who knows how many are voting for me? My amp can't be fucking unplugged this early!

-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-

"Naniizaanad Ashigan!" Damian shouted over the loudspeaker. "Please meet me at the firepit for your elimination ceremony!"

The seven teammates sat around the blazing fire on lawn chairs as Damian began to speak.

"Welcome, Ashigan! I'm sure you all know how this goes. Whoever doesn't get a marshmallow has received the most votes and will be eliminated from the game via the Bus of Losers." Damian held up a marshmallow. "Okay, let's get this party started. Diana, you're safe."

Diana caught her marshmallow.

"Brock!"

"Stratbot!"

"May!"

"Salem!"

Garrett and Jynxie each looked at the final marshmallow, their hands balled into tight fists in anticipation.

"And the final marshmallow goes to…

…

...

…

...

…

...

…

...

…

...

…

...

…

...

…

...

…

…

… Jynxie."

"Fuck yeah!" Jynxie shouted as she grabbed her marshmallow.

"Oh meeerrda, dude…" Brock said in shock.

"What th' fuck?! Y'all decided ta keep this loud bitch over me! Pshh! Whatever! Good luck tryna win challenge with only th' robot as yer clutch!" Garrett ranted as he stormed off.

"...Woah nelly…" Said Stratbot.

Garrett stomped onto the bus and Chef drove off, sending the angry cowboy away from the Hanwi campground.

"And Garrett is our third camper to bite the dust!" Damian announced. "What juicy drama will our contestants get into next time? Find out, well, next time...on Total! Drama! Cabin Fever!"


End file.
